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To stay at home or not to stay home?

Hi I need help making a major decision...Here's the scenario, I am in a professional career, the youngest in my field, make a nice income and could go on to do great things. I have 2 young children...a 1 year old and a 4 year old. I miss alot of work b/c of health problems with the kids,etc. My husband has a very good job and makes enough that bottom line we can afford to go down to one income but if we do that, then we have no discretionary funds. Right now we have a couple thousand extra every month so we would take a big hit with the discretionary income. If I leave my field, I will not be able to go back into it later on, these jobs are few and far between so that is a big concern. Any advice, has anyone ever done this, any suggestions, tips, websites to consult,etc? I love my kids and want to spend more time with them but they do tend to drive me batty after too much time together! :)

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Asked by karebearintx at 1:10 PM on Feb. 9, 2009 in Money & Work

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Answers (10)
  • I was a daily newspaper reporter before leaving the field for 17 years to be a full-time mom. I kept up (and expanded) my skills through volunteering and a little free-lancing. When I decided last spring to reenter the work force, I sent out 2 resumes and within a couple of weeks had 3 job offers. I wouldn't change a thing. My kids benefitted from my involved parenting, I loved being a part of all their big moments, and I feel all of us are better off for it. Yes, money was tight and some months were scary, but we made it. To be honest, I wish I could have stayed home until they were all out of high school (youngest is a freshman), but my husband's job changed and we need my income. My advice--do what feels right for your family. But as Dr. Brazelton said, you can never go wrong giving your children the gift of days spent with someone who passionately loves them. Good luck!

    Answer by FPCLisa at 1:22 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I left my job when i gave birth to my son i wanted to be a stay at home mom. I sometimes regret it now that he is in school i spend the day all by myself. Now that I can go back to work the economy is so bad that the only people who are hiring that what you to have so many years of experience which i haven't work in 6 years. Money did get tighter and we could not do the things we were use to doing. Every situation is different so you just have to do whats best for you. My sister quite her job when she had her baby she soon found out she was not a stay at home mom type and quickly went right back to work.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Can you afford a nanny? I was a nanny and was able to care for the children when they were sick. Mom or dad would come home initially to take them to the doctor but I was there caring for them afterwards they usually just slept anyway. The children I watched were raised by mom and dad with a little help from me. Kids thrive in a home where there is love whether there is a parent home all day or night. You obviously love your kids and enjoy working. I would find a nanny who can be home with the kids even through illnesses. I am a SAHM and cannot go back to work now because of the economy. It really sucks. My son is in school full time, my home is spotless and I am bored. I would keep the job. 


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:35 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • If you are torn I would choose my kids. If you want something that will get you out of the house a little bit find an at home business that you can do for fun when you want to work. that's what I did. GOOD LUCK I'm sure whatever you do will be the right decision. ALSO I would tuck away every penny for about a month or even two and then quit that way you will have a little nest egg.

    Answer by rocamom at 1:46 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Well, I don't think the decision should be made on your children driving you batty. You had them. You should control them. You can stay home. Sometimes it is worth it. What if you lose your job due to an illness? You can always find ways to sacrifice. If the decision is made on your children driving you crazy, you should have thought that through before you had them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Hi there,


    There are a few career advicer partners on There is also a HUGE list of companies that may even hire you to do what you did before from home!

    I dont know what it was you did, you'll have to check out the site.

    The best to you.


    Answer by IraqiVetWife at 5:58 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Staying home with my children was the best decision I ever made. I left a very good job and like you it eliminated most of our discretionary income. The first thing that I did before leaving was pretend like we were already living on one income. I saw that it could work with some sacrifice, not to mention that my money that we didn't spend beefed up our savings account. Some other advice that I would give would be to read some books by Dave Ramsey... The Total Money Makeover and Financial Peace. They show you how you can live debt free and live within your means. Budgeting is important. When my kids drive me crazy, I ask a friend or family member to take them for a few hours. Of course then I have to reciprocate and keep their kids for a while sometimes too. Also joining in on childrens programs and activities help keep you sane too. I wish you the best in your decision making.

    Answer by slw123 at 7:43 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I left a corporate job when my daughter was born because we did not want her in daycare. She is now in 1st grade and I have a great business selling Premier Designs jewelry. I say go for it! They grow up toooo fast!

    Answer by jewelrylady98 at 1:55 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • How about cutting down to part-time? Then you can have the best of both worlds. If you are thinking about quitting anyway, you have nothing to lose by asking.

    Answer by sammygrl77 at 5:43 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Thanks for the advice, that was very insightful and helpful, except for the obvious rebel-rouser! I dont know what I'll do, I have some time to think about it, but I appreciate all of your advice!

    Answer by karebearintx at 9:14 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

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