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I may find myself in the situation of being a single mother and I'm scared.

I just found out my husband was molested by his mother and I don't want that woman around our child. My husband and I almost divorced last year because he was letting his mom constantly criticize me as a mother, which she tried to suffocate my daughter, one year old, and I had to fight her to give me my daughter and my husband just stood by.

I don't think he understands that he was a victim of his mother's actions, and when she is around his allegiance is to her. Know he claims that he likes attention ANY attention. He also said that I am taking advantage of him when I ask him to give me a back massage. Our daughter weighs 35 pounds and i carry her around everyday 5 days a week. I wake up early because my back is always hurting.

I'm just scared of being a single mother and the reprucuctions of her growing up w/out both parents. But I fear that if my husband does not get help for what happened to him as a child h

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Butterfly37

Asked by Butterfly37 at 1:28 PM on Feb. 9, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (5)
  • Well first off would you rather her be raised in a family like the one youre in? Look at the long term reprocussions. Her grandma tried to SUFFOCATE HER! She might not grow up if she stays around someone like that. Being a single mom is scary but omg also so liberating. I was a single mom for awhile and some times were soooo hard but yet so nice to be able to call my own shots and not deal with the inlaws. I raised my kids as I saw fit, said no to people being in their lives I didnt like, and that part was just great. You need to do whats right for you but being in a home like that is in no way good for you or your dd. And anyway the right guy could be waiting for you. Shes young and odds are you will find a new husband who will be a responsible dad.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:39 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • now wait a minute...this woman tried to KILL your child and you still wonder whether to get the hell away from her??? Look, I will not bash and I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you but as someone in the counseling/therapy field, I can only recommend YOU get OUT OF THERE!!

    Being a single mom is NOT BAD...I did it for 8 years. You will need support of others in your life (family/friends) but once you adjust and make your own schedule, it is actually EASIER than dealing with a man with all his own problems. Please trust me on this.

    He does need therapy. He needs it now. And he needs to distance himself from that deranged mother of his. Maybe once he works out his own issues and gets his life on track, THEN you may consider reconciling with him. But please, girl, not a moment before!! You and your child will be fine without him. Kids are resilient so do not think you are RUINING her. You are not.
    MammaMia72

    Answer by MammaMia72 at 1:50 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • continued...

    Staying in your current situation most certainly WILL, though.

    I wish you the best of luck. I really do. And you can PM me anytime if you want to talk.

    MammaMia72

    Answer by MammaMia72 at 1:51 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!!!! OMG! I'm sorry but if anyone tried killin my baby I would kill them. Okay no I wouldn't but that woman seriuosly needs some help. I wouldn't keep my daughter around her or anything I wouldn't let her see her until she's gotten help. As for your husband he needs to support you not his mother. It's not a bad thing being a single mother if need be. I've been a single mom since my daughter was born and I give her father visitaion rights like every other weekend. Same with her grandma but I wouldn't leave her with your mother in law at all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:43 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Your motherinlaw is crazy..not only is she a molester but a possible murderer as well. I would never let my daughter near her. Your husband is stranger for not sideing with you. What kind of husband or person would think you're taking advantage of them for asking for a back massage? They are both dysfunctional. You and your child are worth too much to have to deal with this kind of life. Somtimes it's better for a child to grow up with one parent that is healthy than two parents that are messed up. Be strong for your daughter..Don't let fear of being single mother keep you in a situation that is unhappy and unhealthy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

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