Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Am I just being a whiney little baby right now??

My husband is a good man. He works hard for our family and he loves me and our son very much. That being said, he recently told me that I have been "nagging him too much." So I get that I can't give him a hard time all the time about every little thing. But then anytime I want to talk to him about anything he says that I am nagging again. Why does he get to decide what is important enough to talk about and what isn't? Half the time I say something to him he hardly even responds anyway. He doesn't look up from his computer screen and all he says is "mmm." or "Mmhmm." I feel like I'm talk to a wall. Also if I hurt my self and say "OW!" he never even asks me if I'm okay or what happened. I don't know why that bothers me so much. But now I feel like I can't talk to him about ANYTHING at all or else I'll be a nag.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:46 PM on Feb. 9, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I wouldn't touch anything written by that woman with a ten foot pole.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:07 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • my husband is the same way...but only sometimes. and i feel exactly how you do too. my feelings get hurt when he doesn't comfort me when i hurt myself or when he doesn't feel like talking. but i guess i was just a little spoiled growing up and always got attention when something happened and i just dont get that from him. If i were you i wouldn't worry about it so much.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I do not think that you are a whinny baby. You are saying what you feel and your feelings should be validated. Maybe he is saying that you nag too much because he wants to avoid confrontation. If he was my DH I would tell him exactly how I felt. The communication has to be always open.
    The way he acts would bother me too.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 1:58 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Maybe you nag/talk too much and he can't filter what is actually important so he turns off completely. Do you have dinner together at a table? This is a good time to have a conversation with each other without distraction. Try not to harp on him (if you do). Start encouraging him, give him some praise.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 2:06 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Is it possible it has become a version of "the boy who cried wolf"? You went on and on about every little thing for a period of time that now he just can't even listen anymore? I'm not saying you did...I'm only asking if it is possible. You need to have a talk with him..but it might be better to write it down first. Start sentences with "I" instead of "You'. Let him know you feel isolated. Tell him you're sorry for whatever you need to be sorry for. Let him know how this is all making you feel. Leave the nagging out. Don't bring drama to it. Don't accuse. Good Luck
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:07 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • My husband was the same way! Your not not nagging he just fells like you are. I would have a talk with him and let him know how that makes you fell and if he cares he'll change he ways. Good Luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • See we get so many one sided questions/information on here, iyou can't just say "youre not nagging" because she really may be.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:31 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • My Dh teasingly says I 'nag' him all the time but admits that if I didn't, nothing would get done around the house. You need to be honest with him and you two need to sit down and have a real conversation. You need to ask him what he considers 'nagging.' I'm sure it is different than what you see as legitimate requests for help. Maybe you can come to an agreement about what you expect of him around the house so as to avoid any type of unnecessary nagging, that's what we had to do. I told DH that him leaving his things around our living room really, truly bothers me, so he has stopped doing it and I have stopped having to 'nag' him. You might try doing that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Also, about the 'ow' thing, I used to do that to my DH. He would hurt himself and I wouldn't ask him if everything was ok, I just wasn't used to it, or I clearly saw he was ok, so I didn't bother asking him if he was ok. I then watched the movie "friends with money' in which one of the character's husbands never asked her if she was ok after bumping herself or whatever and realized I had been insensitive. I doubt he even realizes what he's doing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Read the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. It will give you more insight into how to approach your husband and make him more receptive to meeting your needs
    MicahsMom612

    Answer by MicahsMom612 at 10:03 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

Next question in Relationships
Does it turn you on

Next question overall (Just for Fun)
Picking Out Names