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Crossing the line with a co-worker?

After reading a post about a wife who read a work email of her husbands where a co-worker said "I missed you last Friday..." I got to wondering what is acceptable behavior between co-workers. Do you think it is appropriate or possible to have a plutonic relationship with the opposite sex at work? Where should you draw the line of said friendship? What, in your mind would constitute of 'crossing the line' with the co-worker, whether it be yours, a spouse's, or a boyfriend/girlfriends?

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bugs-momma

Asked by bugs-momma at 2:17 PM on Feb. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (-3 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Most people who cheat meet the person they cheat with at work. I would not be happy to see this in my husbands email.
    kemclaughlin

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 2:19 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Any type of behavior that you would not do in front of your dh/so is out of line.
    kboney29

    Answer by kboney29 at 2:19 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • If you are so excited to go to work because you'll see this person, it's too much. If you feel like your SO would be upset if they found out how you interact with this person, it's too much. If you get dressed in the morning with that person in mind, it's too much. Conversation should stick to work, family, and casual topics. You shouldn't get emotionally involved with a new friend of the opposite sex.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 2:22 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Good question. Of coarse there are no hot guys I'm attracted to at work. lol
    I say stay away. Its to easy to get wrapped up in a love triangle at work. I keep it friendly enough, but professional with the males.
    flirtatiouswife

    Answer by flirtatiouswife at 2:27 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I've had work friends (of both sexes) who I've missed when they arent' at work, especially when I ate lunch with them everyday. "I missed you on Friday..." could be the beginning of anything. "...because I had no one to chat with all day on the e-mail" or "...because it was a terrible day and I wanted to vent to you about it." or "...because I couldn't get you off my mind and was close to tears when I saw you were out." It could be nothing, it could be something. I think it would depend on the rest of the e-mail whether or not it was crossing the line.
    jms124

    Answer by jms124 at 2:29 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I agree with jms, it needs to be on context of the rest of the email. Considering I work with 99% men, I do have platonic friendships. It is when the two co-workers are going out off work hours and hiding what they are doing that is the problem
    dakotaNrye

    Answer by dakotaNrye at 2:33 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • i say if you hide something and dont want no co workers to see it, not even your hubby, then you have crossed the line
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 2:43 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Does your husband speak of this coworker much? If he mentions a lot of things about her every day life often, there is a chance he is talking about his with her. There can be emotional adultery. Be patient and just keep an eye out.
    Wendy413

    Answer by Wendy413 at 2:46 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Wendy, I talk about men I work with all the time, doesn't mean I am having an emotional affair with them or that I want to have sexual relations with them...
    dakotaNrye

    Answer by dakotaNrye at 2:51 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I'm sorry but I don't think that e-mail is that inappropriate. I know b/c sometimes co-workers (female and gay men) will say that to me or each other like "oh, I missed you on Friday, we could have used your help" or whatever. This is sad to say, but I'm perfectly ok with my Dh's co-workers b/c none are attractive! I know that's messed up, but it makes me feel so much better that most of them are women. I was a little irked by one of them tho. She's single (in her 40's) and I felt she was trying to use my DH as an emotional crutch. We got in a sort of argument about it and it ended with me admitting I was being paranoid. What can you do but trust them?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:15 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

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