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Oh the webs we weave

So, lately there has been alot of hostility in DH's family, and we have indirectly gotten tangled in it. Cant decide if I should step back and untangle myself, or stand by BIL's side. My younger BIL is super immature, he met a girl a year ago, and a few months ago found out they were pregnant. She demanded he start acting like a man, get a car, stop blowing his money. He got upset and cried to MIL about how mean she was being. I agreed with the GF. He is in his 20's! Time to man up! Well, MIL decided to "go off" on the girlfriend while BIL was on the phone with her, meaning she could not defend herself to MIL, just had to listen. So, a few days later, she wrote her an email defending herself. MIL basically said you dont give people you love ultimatums, and she was only good for p*ssy. I dont see the problem with what GF did, she did what we all have been doing for years!! Guess what? He got mad at his mom, moved out, and had enough saved to get a car! All because GF gave him that ultimatum! Now MIL is upset with all of us, and so is older BIL. I think MIL should apologize for her actions, as she treated me the same way, and I am very close to BIL's girlfriend...I love her like my own sister. Anyways, dont know if I should continue to stand beside them in this, or just back off. It's not my mess, BUT it's about time the family stood up to MIL, she has caused her fair share of problems in all of our lives.....I think it's time somebody demand she own up to it, and BIL's girlfriend is doing an amazing job of putting her in her place, while still maintaining class and maturity...need advice and just to vent a little TIA

Answer Question
 
Watch_me_burn

Asked by Watch_me_burn at 9:44 AM on Oct. 11, 2012 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,015 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Sounds like a mess of a family. Why would you even attempt to fix them. . I'd move
    adnilm

    Answer by adnilm at 9:50 AM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • stand by your BIL and his GF (seems to be a new SIL if you ask me!). Your MIL will get over her hurt feeling eventually, especially if she wants to be a grandma to the new baby soon. Its sad how messed up and mixed up families can get over simple misunderstandings. Your BIL should probably apologize to his mom though, sounds like he started the whole mess by whining to his mommy and then turns around and gets mad at her for defending him, he's man enough to be a dad now then he should be man enough to apologize to his mom and smooth things over :-/
    DreainCO

    Answer by DreainCO at 9:52 AM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • How does your husband feel?
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:53 AM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • I would stay out of it. You've got your own battles to grind with MIL. And i'm sure loving is our of the question you DH could never leave the nest. Not that he may never want too - I understand the crazy family no one can leave this town crap.
    Try to stay nuteral...
    SassySue123

    Answer by SassySue123 at 10:05 AM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • Do.not.interfere.

    This is not your mess, it's theirs. Do not make it yours as that will solve nothing.
    winterglow

    Answer by winterglow at 10:08 AM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • This is not your fight to have, I would support the GF, but refrain from making negative comments about MIL, and don't let MIL make negative comments to you, I think backing off is the best thing to do.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:11 AM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • I think you should proceed with caution. First off, it doesn't sound like your BIL's GF needs you to support her. She seems to have a good handle on things as of now. BIL is having to look at his life and decide what is important to him. He chose GF, time for MIL to let go of her baby just a little. She sounds controlling and doesn't like the competition. BIL is asserting his decisions as an adult and this is a stand off that he and MIL need to have. Alone. I say hold back unless they need reinforcement.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:22 AM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • Stay out of it.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:22 AM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • Thanks for the answers. Hubby is in the same spot as me, he does not care about his moms feelings, and that is her fault, I think we are just gonna stay out of it as best as we can and just offer support and advice when needed. It's so easy to end up in the middle of things.
    Watch_me_burn

    Comment by Watch_me_burn (original poster) at 12:24 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • messy fam
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 3:34 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

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