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3 Bumps

What do you say or do when your dh makes a comment?

Lately it seems like I am not doing anything right my dh is the only one working and I am at home all day.
We have been living pay check after pay check. I tell him going to go grocery shopping he gives me a limit and sometimes I go $20.00's over sometimes he's ok with it and sometimes he bitches about when he bitches he says I spent $200.00 and nothing to show for I just throw him the receipt. He's like I would have made that amount stretch. I told him then you do the shopping. He's like wait a minute I work all day and now I have to do the groceries too. I told him yes since it seems to me I am not doing it right.

Not to mention he bitches about how I don't put enough this or that in our food when I cook, he's really pissing me off...I don't tell him anything bc I don't want to start any arguments but I just bite my lip.


Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Oct. 11, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • My ex used to act like that too. Of course, his bitching came from the fact that he had really cheap parents who always bought everything generic.

    Answer by 3libras at 12:21 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • My DH does this too. Not with the groceries but with the house. Some days he doesn't care if the house has toys all over and some daays he loses it. They're ust taking their day out on us. Some men think if you're not earning a pay check you don;t really work... and worst of all they think its ok to become your supervisor.


    Answer by Farrahann at 12:25 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • Then he really SHOULD do the grocery shopping. Tell him to go next time & see how far he can "stretch" the money & still eat how he likes. If he hasn't been to the grocery store in a while then he may not have an idea of how much things cost now. My DH does all the grocery shopping so he knows how costly it is & he does work all day too.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:29 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • Well, he's probably under a great deal of stress. Do you do the sale paper/coupon route? Do you buy a lot of convenience foods? Junk? Men under stress lash out. Ask him to sit down with you and make a list while looking at the sale paper

    Answer by adnilm at 12:33 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • @ ILoveMyPaulie
    When he isn't in a bitchy mood he'll do some shopping but I guess since I am at home DOING NOTHING according to him. I just wish he kept his mouth shut half the time.
    Like right now I can't do anything bc there is no money Im just here I tidy up a little but ou can only do so much. I can't drive my vehicle any where anyway bc the inspection is out....aarrgg!!! What to do? What to do?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:35 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • Don't let his moods get you down so much. I had a blow out a while ago with my DH. I told him I'm sick of being such a disappointment to you and I'm not going to feel that way anymore. I told him you may think I don't care but it's a matter of self preservation. I just can't let his nasty moods get me down. He is typically a nice guy but I am the lighting rod for his shitty moods.  I have found that NOT going swing for swing with him takes out his steam and allows him to see what an ass he's being.  When I start yelling back I'm just playing right into his hands.


    Answer by Farrahann at 1:02 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • I'm a SAHM and I'm not trying to bash SAHMs but I think men loose some respect for you when they think they have financial power over you.

    Answer by Farrahann at 1:05 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • OK, so he's worried about money - in that case, you do the budgeting together. All of it. Draw up a shopping list and a menu plan. He has to SEE where the money is going. Go over the receipt with him so he understands. Above all, don't get mad. That only fuels the fury.

    Answer by winterglow at 1:28 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • He is stressed out. You are an easy target for venting. Help him deal with the source of his stress and the verbal assaults will stop. (Unless he has always been verbally abusive, in which case you knew who he was and never should have married him.)

    Answer by theMOMmission at 1:36 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • Yeah my dh gets like that sometimes. He sounds stressed. Lip biting is OK for a while, but sometimes when I'm stressed and he's more relaxed I do point out how hard I work at home for our family and it really makes me feel better when he agrees. I remember those times when he's he's having a crabby pity party and picks on me. :)

    Answer by tessiedawg at 1:50 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

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