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2 Bumps

Do you ever feel pressured to have more children if you only have one child? or pressured to not have anymore if you have 2 or more?

One of my friends gets asked all the time when she is going to have another one, (she has a 5 year old boy) She doesn't want another child and constantly tells people that yet people still keep asking her over and over and tell her she will change her mind. Do you ever have this happen to you seems like it would be quite annoying.

I have the opposite problem, i want to have 4-5 and right nowi have two living children and people keep asking me if im done and seem shocked when we say we want two or three more.

I think people should have how ever many they want, they are the one responsible for taking care of them so if they can only handle one, fine. If they can handle and want 8 that's okay too.

thoughts?

Answer Question
 
rockabell.2009

Asked by rockabell.2009 at 12:40 PM on Oct. 11, 2012 in Parenting Debate

Level 14 (1,397 Credits)
Answers (23)
  • I wouldn't say there's pressure, but there have been plenty of stupid comments. We had always planned on having two children. I really hoped they would be boys, so I was thrilled when we had our second boy. My husband got a vasectomy the day after our youngest was born, and I am very happy to be done having babies. He's 7 years old and I still get "So when are you trying for your GIRL?" Never, people. Why do people think that a woman always wants a girl? Our family is complete.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 12:50 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • When I was younger & had no children people would always ask me why or when I intend on having kids. That really pissed me off. When I was first married I didn't want kids right away. Then suddenly I was married 13 years & I was having a really hard time getting pregnant. So peoples comments made me cringe. I finally had my Son at 39 & everyone said "Oh your old to be having a child now"! WTF?? So then I got another very HAPPY Surprise at 44! I had a baby girl! Now people just smile & say nothing! LOL! So with the experience I have had, I really think people should MYOB & keep their questions & comments to themselves. So go for it girlfriend!! :)

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 1:01 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • I get that all the time. I am alot older than i look and it get so condescending and so presumptuous of people to ask that question. It has to be one of the most annoying things someone can say to a mom. I only have one child...so i have been there....
    jossstone1969

    Answer by jossstone1969 at 1:07 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • I got married at 27 but, I didn't try to get pregnant until I was 32. After I turned 30, my mother (who's basically been vacant for most of my life) started telling me that I needed to hurry up and get pregnant & that my ovaries were going to dry up. One day I got frustrated and told her that if that happened then I'd just adopt a little girl from China. Because I've always wanted a girl & it's horrible how some baby girls are treated there. She stopped after that. But, I did end up getting pregnant & eventually having 2 baby girls. Some have commented about trying for a boy but, not those who really know me. I've always wanted girls, never a boy. I'd have no clue what to do with a boy. I'm a girl mom through & through.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 1:09 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • LOL 3Libras. I am the exact same way with my boys. I don't know what I would have done with a girl. The night before my "big" ultrasound with Kyle, I was flipping out "What if there's no penis?!"
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 1:17 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • Yes! Everyone always asks me when we are going to have more....even though we tell them we probablly arent going to have more kids. It drives me crazy.
    Lobelia

    Answer by Lobelia at 1:26 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • As long as they want more children and can provide in every way for them. I don't care how many they decide to have, it's no one else's business anyway.
    RelaxedMom2-3

    Answer by RelaxedMom2-3 at 1:39 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • sometimes i agree it might just be for conversations sake, but when the same people ask and ask it gets annoying lol.

    My friend always hears that her little one needs a play mate, i always get told i have one of each so why have more? lol
    rockabell.2009

    Comment by rockabell.2009 (original poster) at 2:12 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • I have 5. People are always amazed but having grown up in a family of 5 kids, it doesn't seem all that large to me. But I don't feel pressure not to have more. My husband would love another baby, but I have all I can handle!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 2:37 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

  • I had my son a little late - I was 36 and had been married 12 years when he was born. Before he came, we were constantly asked when we were having kids. Then, once he came, the "when are you having another" started up. The curiosity I can deal with, but I can't stand the guilt people try to lay on you - No more? But he'll be so lonely! He needs a playmate!

    My husband and I waited a long time to have our son and getting him wasn't easy. Because I don't want to go into that with everyone who has an opinion on the size of our family, I just say "Children are not like potato chips. You CAN have just one!"
    hootie826

    Answer by hootie826 at 2:47 PM on Oct. 11, 2012

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