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4 Bumps

Why is sex important in a marriage or relationship?

Shouldn't your spouse love you whether or not you have sex. Sex is for reproducing. We have one child who is 10 months old, we haven't had sex since right before i found out i was pregnant. Why is this so bad ? I just don't get it. I do not feel any closer to my husband after sex than i did before we had sex. I mean you just lay there with someone and get used for fun then go to sleep i'm not sure how that is influencing the importance of a relationship.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Oct. 12, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (43)
  • Sex hurts. If it felt good I'd do it all the time.

    Answer by staciandababy at 3:33 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • And how does your Hubby feel about this??... Did he know your true feelings before marriage?? I would get some serious help before he walks or cheats.. Sex is only important if your NOT getting any, then it is a huge deal.

    Answer by midnightmoma at 4:01 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • Whether a couple has a lot of sex or not isn't long as they both are happy with their sex life. Sexual compatibility is very important. If one partner has a high sex drive and one has a low sex drive no matter how much they love each other, their going to have a tough time. Either one will feel neglected, or one will feel resentful for having to perform.

    Sex is a natural and beautiful thing. I thought it was very sad when you said you just laid there and were used. How awful for the intimacy you have with your husband to make you feel used. How sad for him to be with you and have so little response and intimacy from his wife.

    There are men who are happy to have sex with anyone, but men love as deeply as women, and most want to have a warm loving and exciting sex life with their spouse. If it was just a mechanical thing we do to produce babies, we wouldn't have such strong feelings about sex.


    Answer by ohwrite at 4:58 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • As long as both of you are happy with your marriage the way it is, it doesn't matter how much sex you have. If either of you are unhappy with your sexlife...then it could end up mattering a lot.

    Answer by ohwrite at 4:59 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • Sex is part the the marital contract. People can get divorced bc a spouse doesn't come up off that stuff. It's truly a breach of contract type of thing. As for relationships without marriage, it's not a legal thing but if you entered the relationship (in general) giving him the expectation of sex within the relationship then it's not quite right to with hold it. It should be discussed before getting serious bc it can be (and usually is) a deal breaker.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:32 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • Having sex is a way to show your feelings towards each other, it's in no way to just "reproduce" have you considered going to therapy? It seems like you've some really big issues. And trust me your guy isn't going to stick around if you are refusing to be intimate and show him how you feel. I feel bad for him.

    Answer by CEWarsop at 8:23 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • Ah THERE"S the key, YOU have chosen not to. You are not communicationg to your hubby and he is not with you. You are using sex and comtrolling it. You need to talk to someone and I suggest quick because you are truly not seeing sex in a proper light. You and your hubby are not getting the benefits of marriage that you should be getting. You are only getting part of the package.

    Answer by Dardenella at 9:02 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • Sex hurts. If it felt good I'd do it all the time.

    Staci if this is true you need to talk to your GYN. You can maybe find out why. It should not hurt.

    Answer by Dardenella at 9:04 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • You never mention how your HUSBAND feels about this. And his feelings do count here.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:55 AM on Oct. 14, 2012

  • sex brings you closer to your partner and makes you feel connected to him/ her if i do not have sex with my husband for a few weeks it is because we are super busy with work , school work or the children and I have to admit I feel lonely and a little depressed to be so busy and I miss him!!

    Answer by n8nnickmom at 7:46 AM on Oct. 14, 2012

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