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4 Bumps

Why is sex important in a marriage or relationship?

Shouldn't your spouse love you whether or not you have sex. Sex is for reproducing. We have one child who is 10 months old, we haven't had sex since right before i found out i was pregnant. Why is this so bad ? I just don't get it. I do not feel any closer to my husband after sex than i did before we had sex. I mean you just lay there with someone and get used for fun then go to sleep i'm not sure how that is influencing the importance of a relationship.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Oct. 12, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (43)
  • Whether a couple has a lot of sex or not isn't important....as long as they both are happy with their sex life. Sexual compatibility is very important. If one partner has a high sex drive and one has a low sex drive no matter how much they love each other, their going to have a tough time. Either one will feel neglected, or one will feel resentful for having to perform.

    Sex is a natural and beautiful thing. I thought it was very sad when you said you just laid there and were used. How awful for the intimacy you have with your husband to make you feel used. How sad for him to be with you and have so little response and intimacy from his wife.

    There are men who are happy to have sex with anyone, but men love as deeply as women, and most want to have a warm loving and exciting sex life with their spouse. If it was just a mechanical thing we do to produce babies, we wouldn't have such strong feelings about sex.

    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 4:58 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • And how does your Hubby feel about this??... Did he know your true feelings before marriage?? I would get some serious help before he walks or cheats.. Sex is only important if your NOT getting any, then it is a huge deal.
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 4:01 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • Sex hurts. If it felt good I'd do it all the time.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 3:33 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • While sex in and of itself is not important intimacy is vitally important to a marriage and sex is a form of that. My husband and I do not have sex often, but we are both fine with that so as long as you are both okay with the frequency then so be it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:31 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • Is your husband the only one you have had sex with? Have you achieved orgasm?  This could be a simple case of not knowing what you are missing. 

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • maybe something is wrong with me hormonally then because I don't feel good afterwards i just feel dirty about it, that's why i choose not to unless we decide we want another child
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:59 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • In our relationship, sex is not the most important thing... If something were to happen where neither of us were healthy enough for sex we would still have a very healthy and happy marriage. But, to us sex is still important. It is an intimacy that only we share with each other. It is a physical release and feel good.

    If you agree on the amount of sex with your Hubby then that is between you and him and no one else. However, it is concerning the way you view sex "just lay there with someone and get used for fun then go to sleep." Regardless of the number of times you are intimate, that does not seem like a healthy perspective on sex.
    saphire_eyes802

    Answer by saphire_eyes802 at 2:58 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • The act releases feel good hormones that bond you two
    Semen helps with depression
    Sex with ejaculation helps men fend off prostate issues
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:56 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • I feel like people who think men want sex to bond and get closer to you are a bit off....everyone knows men want sex for the physical act of it....they don't care who it is what they look like
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:54 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • I meant that i don't see how the act of having sex makes you any closer as a couple on an emotional level. It's not terrible but i could think of things i would rather do. I doubt we are "doing it wrong" I just would rather enjoy a hot bath or nap...I don't need to spend every single night having sex to enjoy my spouse is all. I guess everyone is just different and I am weird lol
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:53 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

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