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4 Bumps

Why is sex important in a marriage or relationship?

Shouldn't your spouse love you whether or not you have sex. Sex is for reproducing. We have one child who is 10 months old, we haven't had sex since right before i found out i was pregnant. Why is this so bad ? I just don't get it. I do not feel any closer to my husband after sex than i did before we had sex. I mean you just lay there with someone and get used for fun then go to sleep i'm not sure how that is influencing the importance of a relationship.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Oct. 12, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (43)
  • Something is wrong with you hormonally,because your body should be craving it,even if just for masturbation.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:50 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing. If it isn't, you're doing it wrong.
    hootie826

    Answer by hootie826 at 2:47 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • Intimacy, physical contact, orgasm, physical release, the rush of endorphins, etc.

    I'm taking it that sex is somehow not satisfying for you since you claim to "lay there" and "get used for fun". Why aren't YOU having any fun?
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:47 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • "to the person who suggested i read about blow jobs, i do not do that i find that disgusting and do not like him to reciprocate, it just seems wrong to me."

    Wow. Now I feel doubly sorry for both of you.
    ABeaverhausen

    Answer by ABeaverhausen at 2:37 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • I mean you just lay there with someone and get used for fun then go to sleep

    Then you are not doing it right.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:36 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • So communication is key and as long as you are both on the same page of what you need out of your marriage and from each other, then you both can determine what is normal for you as a couple.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 2:35 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • Sexual contact is not just for reproduction just as speak is not just to convey VITAL information.
    It is an expression of the love that you feel for each other. It also soothes hurt and shares joy. It builds closeness.It is another form of communication.
    Touch is vital to human balance.
    I don't know, why do you think?
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:35 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • It's whatever works for you and your DH. As long as you are on the same page, normal is whatever you both are good with.


    I recently heard (yes- gossip) about a woman that was divorcing her husband. Their entire marriage (over 20 years) they went without sex. They had two children, both of which were conceived through IVF. The husband was just not interested in having sex. At all. He loved his wife and everything about their life together, he just didn't have a physical need to have sex with her or anyone else. She seemed okay with it for a long time, but as her kids got older she realized that she wanted more and desired a physical connection with her husband. He gave her permission to find sex elsewhere. Just sex. They would stay married. She met someone primarily for a physical relationship and fell in love with him. Left her husband and is moving on with the new guy.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 2:34 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • to the person who suggested i read about blow jobs, i do not do that i find that disgusting and do not like him to reciprocate, it just seems wrong to me
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:30 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • ok. We just never have been a very sexual couple. It's something i could live with or without and it wouldn't really bother me. I enjoy it somewhat when we do have sex, but what is important to me is that we love each other. Sex doesn't make me feel closer with him, it's just sex. It is just an activity to me like riding a bike, or going shopping, just something you do. We have had sex maybe 25 times since we have been married. we were together for a year but didnt have sex til our wedding when we wanted to try for a baby, 5 months later i was pregnant and then we haven't had sex since then
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:28 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

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