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4 Bumps

Why is sex important in a marriage or relationship?

Shouldn't your spouse love you whether or not you have sex. Sex is for reproducing. We have one child who is 10 months old, we haven't had sex since right before i found out i was pregnant. Why is this so bad ? I just don't get it. I do not feel any closer to my husband after sex than i did before we had sex. I mean you just lay there with someone and get used for fun then go to sleep i'm not sure how that is influencing the importance of a relationship.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Oct. 12, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (43)
  • I think it really depends on the couple. Most men are physically needy. This is how they feel loved by their partner. Same for women. We all have ways that we interpret love from our partners, the key is figuring out each other's needs and making sure that we fulfill them in ways that make them feel loved, and vice versa. If your DH and you don't have sex often and you are both okay with that, then maybe he interprets love from you in words of affirmation, or you doing nice things for him.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 2:22 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • What adnilm said. Plus it provides the opportunity to feel really close in an intimate way. I don't know it is hard to describe. If you are both comfortable with how things are and it works for you both then you should not care what others think.

    Answer by booklover545 at 2:20 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • It depends on the couple. If your spouse feels the same way and you're both happy there isn't a problem. However I think you're underestimating how important sex can be in maintaining intimacy and closeness in a couple over the years together.

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 2:20 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • It's definitely not the most important thing in a relationship, but I think it is important. If you enjoy sex I think it's important to be with someone you enjoy having sex with. If you and your SO don't really care much for sex then I guess it's not really important.


    Answer by Hollyhock. at 2:19 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • You are right, love is not based on sex. But men are designed for sex. It is a stress relief, a validation, and one of the best ways to help a man feel closer to his partner. And furthermore, sex is about more than just reproduction. Y'all aren't rabbits. Sex is about pleasure, full acceptance, intimacy, and on top of that has many health benefits. To deny your husband is just sad.

    Answer by theMOMmission at 2:19 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • Sex is the one thing that you two exclusively share. You can be close friends with lots of people. Sex is the one intimate thing that you do with your spouse that you don't share with others.

    Answer by adnilm at 2:16 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • Sex is a form of intimacy & intimacy is very important in a marriage. Have you been evaluated for a hormone imbalance, hypothyroidism or depression? Either one or a combo of those could be causing your lack of desire. And, all 3 can happen after giving birth.


    Answer by 3libras at 2:15 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • Yikes. You guys need some serious intervention before you start growing cobwebs down there. Give him a few articles on how clitoral stimulation and how to locate the G spot, and you read up on satisfying blow jobs. Crapsadaisy, this shouldn't even be a question!

    Answer by ABeaverhausen at 2:14 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • My poor husband? I don't see why he is my "poor husband"

    He should love me whether or not i put out, love shouldn't be about sex, should be about how you feel for one another.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:13 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • Wow. Just, wow. I don't even know where to start. I will say this, if you don't figure this out between you and your husband, your marriage will likely not end the way you imagined or wanted it too. And your poor husband. I hope he realizes that he deserves better, sooner rather than later.

    Answer by theMOMmission at 2:06 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

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