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4 Bumps

Why is sex important in a marriage or relationship?

Shouldn't your spouse love you whether or not you have sex. Sex is for reproducing. We have one child who is 10 months old, we haven't had sex since right before i found out i was pregnant. Why is this so bad ? I just don't get it. I do not feel any closer to my husband after sex than i did before we had sex. I mean you just lay there with someone and get used for fun then go to sleep i'm not sure how that is influencing the importance of a relationship.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Oct. 12, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (43)
  • Sex is the one thing that you two exclusively share. You can be close friends with lots of people. Sex is the one intimate thing that you do with your spouse that you don't share with others.

    Answer by adnilm at 2:16 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • I mean you just lay there with someone and get used for fun then go to sleep

    Then you are not doing it right.

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:36 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • Yikes. You guys need some serious intervention before you start growing cobwebs down there. Give him a few articles on how clitoral stimulation and how to locate the G spot, and you read up on satisfying blow jobs. Crapsadaisy, this shouldn't even be a question!

    Answer by ABeaverhausen at 2:14 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • Sex is a form of intimacy & intimacy is very important in a marriage. Have you been evaluated for a hormone imbalance, hypothyroidism or depression? Either one or a combo of those could be causing your lack of desire. And, all 3 can happen after giving birth.


    Answer by 3libras at 2:15 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • What adnilm said. Plus it provides the opportunity to feel really close in an intimate way. I don't know it is hard to describe. If you are both comfortable with how things are and it works for you both then you should not care what others think.

    Answer by booklover545 at 2:20 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • It depends on the couple. If your spouse feels the same way and you're both happy there isn't a problem. However I think you're underestimating how important sex can be in maintaining intimacy and closeness in a couple over the years together.

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 2:20 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • In our relationship, sex is not the most important thing... If something were to happen where neither of us were healthy enough for sex we would still have a very healthy and happy marriage. But, to us sex is still important. It is an intimacy that only we share with each other. It is a physical release and feel good.

    If you agree on the amount of sex with your Hubby then that is between you and him and no one else. However, it is concerning the way you view sex "just lay there with someone and get used for fun then go to sleep." Regardless of the number of times you are intimate, that does not seem like a healthy perspective on sex.

    Answer by saphire_eyes802 at 2:58 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • Is your husband the only one you have had sex with? Have you achieved orgasm?  This could be a simple case of not knowing what you are missing. 


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • And how does your Hubby feel about this??... Did he know your true feelings before marriage?? I would get some serious help before he walks or cheats.. Sex is only important if your NOT getting any, then it is a huge deal.

    Answer by midnightmoma at 4:01 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

  • sex is fun and feels goooooooooood

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 2:00 PM on Oct. 12, 2012

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