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Am I really overreacting?

My SO and I met online and 2 yrs ago I moved in with him. I have been in my current job for 26 years (went there at the age of 21) and I have a really great job that I absolutely love with TONS of freedoms. So, I drive 2 1/2 hrs home at the end of the week (some days I work from home), and then on Mondays I drive 2 1/2 hrs back to work. I stay there all week and go home on the weekend. He drives a semi and is gone all week. All I ask is that we spend quality time together. Yesterday I wanted him to ride with me out to town for a couple hours. He wanted to stay home and lay on the sofa and sleep. I know he's tired; however, he sleeps late on Sat and Sun. After being apart for a whole week and me traveling 2 1/2 hrs to be with him, all I ask is that he spend time with me. Am I overreacting? He told his mom he loves me more than he's ever loved anybody but he needs time alone.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Feb. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • How long has he been single for? With you two still doing your own thing for the week, maybe he is still in the mindset of dating/single status, not live in status. Have the two of you lived together for very long? It is definitely a lifestyle change to have a new person living with you and it takes some time to get used to it.
    dakotaNrye

    Answer by dakotaNrye at 3:26 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • then maybe he just wants to be out of a moving vehicle...I'm sorry, you guys need to find a way to have more time together...its gotta be rough all the coming and going. Where are your kids during all of this?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I don't think that you are over reacting..I don't see anything wrong with him wanting alone time either. He says he loves you more than anyone ever, but does he give you the love you want?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:28 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • No, you're not overreacting. My husband is very similar. We don't get to spend very much time together either. Many mornings, he'll pop out of bed, help himself to breakfast and spend the day washing his car and doing things on the computer by himself. This leaves me yet again another day in a row alone and caring for the baby all by myself. I have to ask him to hold the baby so I can take a shower. I have to ask him to hold the baby so that my freaking arms can rest lol. He doesn't mind caring for the baby but he has to be asked to do it instead of offering on his own. He feels the need for "me" time and takes it but forgets to make sure that I get "me" time too and that our relationships emotional needs are met. It takes reminding. He's not a bad guy (and your SO isn't either I'm sure) he is just the type of person that has difficulty putting himself in another person's shoes and needs to be reminded to be thoughful
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 3:40 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Thanks guys for all your thoughts on this one. We have actually been living together for 2 yrs on March 3rd. As far as our children are concerned, they are all grown, married with children of their own. The thing is when he wants me to ride with him somewhere and I tell him I don't want to go (trying to let him see how it feels), he gets upset and will end up not going if I don't agree to go with him. It's like he can't see my side.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:01 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • will tell you from another side. I am a wife of a truckdriver, and when he comes home , he is home, and thats where he wants to be. I know it sounds bad, but its true. In the summers I go with my husbnad on the truck and they are not treated well by anyone.He has to deal with things that you woudn't believe even if he told you.When they have only 2 days off and just want to be at home, everywhere seems far away and tooooo long. Does that make sense?Try to make things local and fun and see how that works for you.I know its hard being away from each other, but, a compromise is in order on this on both of your parts.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 4:33 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • You are basically strangers who share a home and bed. Is this what he's always done before you? Then he shouldn't have to change after you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • If he's out on the road all week why don't you live closer to YOUR job and he do the traveling back and forth to home?

    Navymama

    Answer by Navymama at 4:48 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I think you are looking at this from a different perspective than he is. You seem to be thinking like a married woman, and he seems to be thinking like a single man.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:50 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

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