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My 10 year old got her period on Saturday. Its so early and even though we have had brief discussions about it, I almost feel unprepared. She seems to be fine and wants to keep it very private, (which I can understand) but I just dont feel like I explained it the best way for her. Any suggestions.

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Asked by kaybenjohnsmom at 4:16 PM on Feb. 9, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (10)
  • maybe you should have some alone time with her and see if she has any questions and make sure she knows the information that you want her to know.

    Answer by SThompson21 at 4:18 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Id just sit down with her and say you want to go over some things and its between you and her. I remember when my oldest got hers. She was around the same age. I went into her room and went over the birds and the bees and what not and she was a little embaressed but I told her I wanted her to be prepared. I asked if she had any questions and told her she could always come to me in confidence and know I wouldnt tell anyone else. I explained as a woman talking to a young woman I hoped she could trust me.

    Answer by gemgem at 4:20 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I got mine at age 11. My mom was very uptight, and never explained anything. All I knew was what I heard from friends, and none of them had it at my age.
    At age 10, I don't think you need to go into great detail about the sexual part of it. But do let her know it will come every month, to keep track of it so she gets an idea of how long her cycle will be so she's prepared for the next month, be sure you have enough pads on hand, explain the cramping part and tell her to be sure she alerts you to the first twinges of pain so she can take ibuprofen (my mom neglected to tell me about that, and I was in terrible pain every month before she would give me tylenol). Goodluck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:21 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Mine came at 9 (4th grade) and I hid it from my mom for 3 days because I was so freakin scared! She found out when she did laundry and just explained to me that I was becoming a woman and showed me pads and everything. Later on I was so happy to learn about tampons!! Mom was extra old fashioned so my aunt told me about them.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 4:29 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I got mine at 11 but was told to expect it soon when I was ten so my mom and sister told me a little bit about it. You could get the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility and maybe go through it and tell a little bit to your daughter but the thing is, she really needs to learn about the sexual part because she can get pregnant now and sadly, girls are having sex at that age. At the very least, she should know should she ever be in a forced situation so that she can tell you.

    Answer by simplyjaneen at 5:31 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I got mine at 10 and I didn't even tell my mom. I went to the school nurse and got pads from her and went through my first cycle alone. My Mother put it to me like this< once i told her i needed her to get me pads, that I was now becoming a woman but i was still her little girl. I would start to experience changes in my body and some could be scary but to always come to her if i had any questions about anything. Then i got the Watered down version of the birds and the bees. I think it just depends on your child. YOU know how mature she is and what she can handle. Don't try and shelter her too much because it may hinder, not help her. I mean it is her body and she deserves to know whats going on from a reliable source instead of going to a friend. If you canestablish trustw ith her now, the future will be much easier. You don't want her to lie to you so don't "lie" lie to her.

    Answer by JacquiV at 7:17 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I personally asked my daughter first if she wanted to talk about it and what would she like to talk about and if she had questions. I also got her the book by American Girls, I know they sell it through Bath and Body awesome book so she could have alittle something in her level to learn about pads, tampons and puberty, she really liked the book. Mine didn't want to talk much at first so we talked the basics, but once she got comfortable with having her periods a few months after she started we gradually talked more and more about her changes and things to do not to do what not to wear on period days, how to hide pads and such... Don't rush go slow, and make it a two way discussion.

    Answer by TheFriskyKitty at 1:48 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I got mine when I was 10 as well. And my mom even got me the American Girl book from Bath & Body Works. She hadn't planned to give me any sorts of talk or anything until I was about 11 or 12 but I guess things came ahead of schedule with me.

    Pick up a copy of the book for her and tell her that, if she has any further questions, she can come ask you ANYTHING.

    And if she's too embarrassed to sit down and talk with you, offer her a notebook. Tell her she can write down any questions and concerns in it and leave it under your pillow or someplace you (and nobody else) would be sure to get it. Then answer it basically, and leave it under her pillow or the designated spot.

    I know that would have helped me a whole lot since sitting down with my mom was just too embarrassing sometimes. She'd over think the question a lot and tell me stuff I didn't really want to know at that point.

    Answer by Betty.Wrong at 3:23 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • ask her if she has any questions but don't harp on it. she's embarssed to talk to you so, do you have a friend or a cousin or someone that is closer to her age, maybe a teenager even, that she trusts? you're mom. she's not going to tell you everything, but if you provide for her a confidant that can keep you somewhat in teh loop while providing her with the correct information, you will be grateful later in life that you did.

    Answer by princezzmommie at 5:16 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I would focus on the practical apsect for the most part and leave the graphic sexual talk for another time. She is only ten years old, period or not....and she is probably a bit overwhelmed already. At this age, I would think she might need help with the calendar and being prepared...and even some help keeping track of things. There is nothing we can do about it, but that is just so young! As a mom you can't help but have mixed feelings. She is definitely still a little girl at 10, but now she has to deal with a mature responsibility. Honor her feelings and encourage her to be 10! And don't feel you won't have any more chances to discuss things with her, because you can do it in stages. She will get more comfortable and willing to talk, and things will come up that need to be addressed--even simple things like choice of clothing and that sort of thing.

    Answer by BJoan at 12:14 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

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