Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

over protecting?

Ok here is my problem. I have a 3 1/2 year old boy and well the other day we where at a family dinner with my husbands side of the family and well every time my son got close to the end of the grass I would tell him to get closer to me (because I was afraid of him going into the street) and my husband uncle was laughing at me because I was being way to over protective. And when my son is riding his bike I walk behind him so I can catch him when he falls and when a car comes by I make him stop till the car passes, and I do alot of other little crazy things too to keep him safe. Well my ? is am I being too over protective, and if I am are there any advice you ladies could give me to give him a little slack. I am just so afraid of him being hurt (i would wrap him in bubble wrap if I could). Sorry its long thanks for reading.


Asked by saysha100687 at 5:14 PM on Feb. 9, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 17 (4,017 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • To protect him from the street...fine , but from toppling over on his bike... too much. I'm sure he already has the necessary protective gear on and that's enough. I'm not being judgemental, I was exactly the same as you!!! There's a term for us and it's "helicopter mom"!!! Everyone would tell me I was overprotective but I just didn't see it. It doesn't stop at riding bleeds into every other aspect of their lives. My son became kinda insecure, really shy, and too dependent on me because of my "helicoptering". I helicoptered his playdates, his schoolwork, his bike riding, his every move. Heck, I tried putting knee pads on my daughter when she was learning to walk but my DH wouldn't let me. Now, he's 9 and I'm starting to see the ill effects. He expects me to sit with him through every second of his HW, etc. The message you're sending is " I don't believe you're capable". Analyze-while you're still way ahead

    Answer by mamawilson112 at 9:04 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Kids just get's how they learn to be careful or they learn they don't want to do THAT again....of course, don't send him directly out in the street, but let him be a don't want him to grow up and be a sissy momma's boy....he'll always be your little boy, but what's childhood without a few busted lips, a couple stiches, and a scar to forever tell stories about. I just know some men (if you can even call them that) who are such pussy's and it's cause they were traditional "momma's boys" and it's actually gross. Heck, even our girl's have a few lumps and bumps.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:25 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • well, the walking behind his bike to catch him when he falls seems a little much (but that's only my opinion), but the rest I don't think is overprotective. I am the same way with my sons, and they are 5 & 7 (8 later this month). And the only reason I disagree with the bike thing is b/c part of learning to ride a bike is the fall. If he never takes that fall b/c you catch him, he can't make that connection to fix what he's doing to make him take that fall. But, again, my opinion. I think part of the problem with the uncle is #1 parents seem to be more involved today than before (not all, but some), and #2 men don't really understand how mothers feel. Those two things make it seem to him like you are over protecting your son, but you can't let his thoughts influence how you raise your child. You have to do what you think is best.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 5:26 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I would try to address the reasons why you are so scared of trusting him or letting him go.

    I would read raising our children, raising will most likely help you learn how to deal with it...its an AWESOME book..highly recommend.

    Answer by keyaziz at 5:35 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I would say yes, a bit overprotective - but more than that, you're not letting your son learn his limits - you're constant reminders tells him on a deep level that he cannot be trusted to do it himself. If he's playing on the grass, remind him ONCE of the limitations and then let him play. Don't keep reminding him or else he'll never learn to remember himself. Same with bike riding - let him fall and learn to GET BACK UP. We cannot keep our kids in bubble wrap forever. We need to encourage them to explore their limits, or else he'll stay bubble wrapped forever.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 5:52 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • um, my cousin's son was killed by a car. i think you are wise at 3 1/2 to be watching as closely as you are. he is 3 1/2 not 7 where he has good reflexes and kinda knows what to watch for. if you feel like you are over protective, maybe you are a little, but you sound fine to me.

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 6:28 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • i dont think its wrong to want to protect your kid(s), however, i do believe that some things kids just need to learn on their own..ex..falling off a bike..if youre there to catch them everytime, theyre not gonna learn properly..yaa theyre gonna be scared and might not wanna try again..but they for going to close to the road..well..ive always just said to my daughter(4) "stay on the grass..or..dont go on the road" i never told her to come back to me tho..and for bike riding on the street..she just automatically stops and waits for the cars to pass dont worry about that one..the thing is, is ya gotta teach your kids boundaries..where and how far theyre allowed to go..and then teach them to respect those after their done playing, praise them by saying thatnk you for staying off the road..or thank you for staying on the grass..etc..

    Answer by alexis_06 at 7:09 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • There is no such thing as a "crazy" thing to make him safe. I do all the same things you mentioned and more to keep my kids safe, and I think it's my job as a parent. If it feels right to you, who cares if anyone thinks you are overprotective. You never know when it will pay off and your strong dilligence will be what saves your child from injury or even death.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:14 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • AS far as him getting too close to the street...NO you are NOT being over protective. I am the same way with my kids getting too close to the street. That is very dangerous. But with the bike riding he needs to fall so he doesnt become a wuss. Kids NEED to get hurt. Its a part of growing up. Its great you are protective. It just means you love him and care, but speaking long term he will suffer when you're not around and he falls and scrapes his knees. It will be a tradgedy to him. Good luck!

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 7:24 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Thank you ladies for your responses. I thought I was being a little crazy with the bike thing (my mom told me I was too). Thanks again.

    Answer by saysha100687 at 8:36 PM on Feb. 9, 2009