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Why wont they listen when you say no?.

My son who is a year old trys his luck all the time. Why don't they listen when you say no. My question is do you think its okay to smack his hand? My husband did this the other day, and I cried. I don't think he associates the pain with what he just did. Am I wrong? Whats your opinion on this?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:43 PM on Feb. 9, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Redirection, do-overs, gentle physical re-directions all work well at this age. Use your words, but don't expect a child this young to remember "No" with each activity - they don't have the long term memory yet to remember, so it's important to remind them again and again and again, which is why consistency is so important. The more you remind them the same way each time, the better their brain will be able to remember. Eventually, their brain will develop the long-term memory to sustain simply a No, but it would be best if they have an internal mechanism that re-directs their activity before you have to say no. That's why re-direction works well with children - it teaches them what they CAN do instead of just what they Can't do.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 6:26 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • My husband taps our son's hand only when he is doing something dangerous like toughing an outlet but all that baby does is cry for a minute then try again so I don't think it helps at all. I have tried to explain that to my husband but he doesn't listen either.


    Answer by Anonymous at 5:46 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I've read in several books about toddlers that they do not understand the negative command. When you say, "Don't do that!" they only understand "Do that!" and so they do it. No make no sense to a kid. So instead of saying what not to do, find a way to tell the child what you do want them to do. If it is to leave something alone, tell them to come to you or to go get another thing and bring it to you (as a distraction). Or you go get the child and say, "Come let's play with this instead," and take him to a different spot and activity. When he does what you ask him to do, praise him! Try using more rewards than punishment.

    At one year old I don't think the child really gets it why they're being hit and that is usually not an effective solution anyhow. I have found my son gets it when I ask him to do something, but almost never understands me saying no or don't touch this or that. Good luck!

    Answer by AngelWendyMama at 5:55 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I hear that you are supposed to distract the child- find something else for him to be interested in. They are fascinated by the world around them, which is a good thing. I used the hand tap method if distracting didn't do the trick.

    Answer by Bmat at 5:56 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • The child WILL listen, but you must be consistent. If something is wrong once, it is wrong every time, bar none. A firm "no" should be given once and once only. If the child continues to do what he shouldn't, then say "no" and move the child away from the undesired place. Another attempt at doing this wrong thing should be met with yet another "no", and a move to somewhere safe but isolated, such as the crib or bedroom. Do not run to your child as soon as the crying is over, give him some time to settle down. Your little one needs to understand that what you say is what goes... children will test limits, it's up to you to set those limits and MOST IMPORTANTLY, stick to them.

    Answer by theitalian3721 at 5:56 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I agree with theitalian3721

    Answer by SandraB383 at 6:48 PM on Feb. 9, 2009