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getting my son adopted

i have been with my husband for 5 years, my son was just under 2. we have never been able to establish paternity through the bio-dad. yeah, i picked a doozy. my husband has been wanting to adopt my son, but we can't find anyone to do it, because bio-dad still has rights, even though it's not on paper that he's the other parent. we can't even get a name change, because bio-dad has right for his child to carry his last name(it's now my maiden name) i'm soo frustrated, and all efforts we have put into finding him have hit about two months after he moved. anybody have ANY suggestions? websites, anything!! thanks

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Asked by at 7:14 PM on Feb. 9, 2009 in Adoption

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Answers (12)
  • A lawyer should be able to post a public notice giving him warning that if he doesn't step forward his rights will be terminated on abandonment--it really shouldn't be that hard! I'm guessing you've talked to an attorney and I'm sure laws are different in each state, but maybe you need to specifically ask. Also, if bio dad is found, he will have to pay back child support. I like to use to get an idea of where people are currently living. I have never paid for the service, but it does tell you last known address and possible relatives. I have always just taken that information and started calling people. Good luck!

    Answer by reeree1 at 7:22 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • So listed under father is unknown, you can't find the guy, it has been 2 years and he has never tried to file paternity, I don't understand what the problem is. You should be able to find a lawyer to take this case. It should really be an easy one.

    Answer by babyfat5 at 7:24 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • yes, i have had three consultations with three different lawyers. none of them mentioned the notice in the paper, i've actually done the people search, it's usually a couple months behind him....

    Answer by at 7:25 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • try for searching or try zabasearch (both are free)

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:31 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • get a lawyer

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:32 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • you need to tell them specifically you want to terminate the rights of the biological father so that the stepfather can adopt.

    Answer by ZaTa at 7:37 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • The first answer is correct, in any adoption they post public notice, if no one answers the public notice they are free to proceed without him, especially if he's not on the birth cert.

    Answer by Steff107 at 7:46 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • they only post public notice if the man can not be found- her X can be. I know this because I am currently in the middle of this process

    Answer by ZaTa at 9:03 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • They did the public notice, when my mom adopted my son. His dad knew about it but I don't think he really cared. That's okay, worked out for the best.

    Answer by Steff107 at 1:52 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I agree if the father has not been around and it is not on paper as the father then it shouldn't be a problem. If they do know where the father is then take him to court, he will either have to step up if he wants the rights (and don't the courts do DNA testing now if paternity is unestablished?) and start paying child support (and back support) or he can terminate his own rights and your DH able to adopt.

    Answer by badd_kitten at 3:57 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

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