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What is wrong with my husband?

ok so ever since we got married. May 2007 we really havent had sex or ya done anything in tht way... i will stand there butt naked and he will look at me and not do anything. i have asked my guy friends and they are like soemthing is wrong with him. bc what guy would not do anything when a girl/wife is walking around the house or whatever butt naked... what am i doing wrong? i mean i will try stuff. but he says he isnt in the mood. or he makes up excuses....i seriously am giving up on trying to do anything with him anymore.

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KCsMom08

Asked by KCsMom08 at 8:33 PM on Feb. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (95 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • Is he, perhaps, impotent, but is afraid to tell you? Have you asked him point blank what is wrong? Tell him it's not normal to be married for almost two years and never have sex.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • he is perfectly capable of doing it! i use to ask him in a nice way ..like not to hurt his feelings. whats wrong. but he just pulls "im tired"
    KCsMom08

    Answer by KCsMom08 at 8:42 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I would definitely sit down and talk to him about it. My first thought was that he was gay, but I like your first answer better. lol.
    vbongard

    Answer by vbongard at 8:42 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • have you let him know that you need "attention" and that while he is a great husband in every other way, you need him to participate and full fill that part of being a husband too. That you have needs and either need to know what is going on or why he is obviously finds you so ugly that he cant stand to see you naked.

    I do not mean that, but just to make him feel bad in hopes that he will finally tell you.

    Have you tried crying and then when he asks what is wrong let him know that (refer to end of option one)
    vbongard

    Answer by vbongard at 8:45 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • i have sat down and talked to him tho. a couple times. he just gets pissed. makes me cry and we get in a arguement. ...i sit down and am nice about it. he just says that iiiii dont make the first move. im like WTF? why do i? he thinks i should pull the first move. seriously it never use to be like this
    KCsMom08

    Answer by KCsMom08 at 8:46 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • i have asked him if he thinks im ugly. i have even made him feel bad by telling him that he makes me feel that way bc of no "attention" or that he doesnt look at me the same way
    KCsMom08

    Answer by KCsMom08 at 8:48 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Well first off, you can't make him feel the way you want him to. That's the sad truth. And if he does end up having sex with you after you guilt him then it will not be any good for you or him.
    You need to build your inner confidence....dress sexy, don't ask for sex, (take care of yourself if you have to), and just be happy around him. (even if it bothers you) Act like him not touching you doesnt bother you. He will then wonder..... WTF is going on...why isnt she asking for sex, etc. Then he will step up. (hopefully) Alot of men are turned on by a challenge. When he asks you for sex turn him down. Make him work for it. Maybe start him on a multi-vitamin if he is tired all the time.
    MyMayBaby_Chloe

    Answer by MyMayBaby_Chloe at 8:58 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • My DH did this to me over a year ago.......... so I told him one night "I will never ask you for sex again. EVER"...And i never have. I built my inner confidence back, turned him down when he asked for sex........... and well............ he REALLY stepped up to the plate and I get me some good lovins all the time now! LOL!!
    MyMayBaby_Chloe

    Answer by MyMayBaby_Chloe at 9:00 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I am so sorry. zach (DH) and I went through a stretch like this a couple times so far in our marriage of 10 years. He usually will come to me and say that he is tired of always making the first move, or I need to pay more physical attention to him, or why do I not touch him as we pass, etc. It hurts my feelings that he is not happy with me, and feel that he just does not understand that after a long day at work, sometimes I am just too tired. If I do not pay attention to his needs and always think of him first I will get used to using the excuse that I am too tired and it may be weeks or months that we dont do it. I just have to make a constant effort. My dad told me that if I do not "take care of my husbands needs" that there are plenty of other people that will be willing to. That snapped me back to reality. GL
    vbongard

    Answer by vbongard at 9:00 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • It's me again..... LOL. I just realised something........ I went to your homepage and noticed that your beautiful little girl is 5 months old?!? THAT might be it...... my DH told me later that he didn't see me as a sexual creature anymore..he just saw me as a mother. So I brought out all the old albums of us when we first got together, left love notes he has written me laying around so that he could read the words he wrote about how beautiful he thought I was and how much he loved me. Like I said it wasn't long after that and he was all over me and still is.
    THAT might be what your DH is going through.
    MyMayBaby_Chloe

    Answer by MyMayBaby_Chloe at 9:05 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

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