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2 Bumps

So close to home and don't know how to deal....

I just talked to one of my sisters tonight and my mind is so boggled right now. We found out that our other sister has cancer and she is having to go through chemo and radiation. She had a hysterectomy done and some lymph nodes removed. I guess what I am wondering is how severe it could be. What stage could it be in?? She is such a strong willed person and doesn't ever want to let anyone know how much she is really hurting.

I haven't talked to my sister because I just don't know what to say. I know I will do nothing but cry and she doesn't need that now. I have no extra money to go be with her and it makes me feel like a shitty person. I cannot believe that in such a hard time I can't be there.

Why does this have to happen?? I feel like no matter what I am thinking the worst with it all and that's why I feel I can't talk to her. And knowing that I feel that way is wrong. I know people will say leave in God's hands but I don't even know if I believe that anymore.

I sit and think about the stupid fight we had a yr or so ago and can't help but feel guilty for the time lost. Why was I so stupid and let my pride get in the way???

I want to pray but I feel like I am going to just scream out, "WHY!!!" I don't want to lose my sister. I know I need to stay positive because that's what she needs.

What do I do?? How can I help from so far away??

No matter if u believe in God or not, I ask of you ladies please send good thoughts, prayers, whatever you can her way... Sorry if there were misspellings but i can barely see the keys. Thanks so much!

Answer Question
 
goofygalno1

Asked by goofygalno1 at 10:48 PM on Oct. 16, 2012 in Health

Level 27 (30,583 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Call her. Talk to her. Even if you cry, at least you'll know (and she'll know) that you cared enough to call her. Ask her what you can do to be there for her. You can be there and show support without actually physically being there. Even if all it is is a chat on the phone or sending her a little care package of some kind.

    I'm so sorry that your family is dealing with this.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 10:53 PM on Oct. 16, 2012

  • You need to call her! It doesn't matter if you cry, trust me she will be glad you called. There are never any for sures with cancer,even if you cant be there write her every week , make the calls. * hugs* I hate cancer I just hate it
    Mrs_Harsh

    Answer by Mrs_Harsh at 10:55 PM on Oct. 16, 2012

  • Depends what type of cancer she has ~ generally they will consider it operable up to stage IIB or early III. The staging is different between uterine/ovarian/cervical cancer though, so it's difficult to answer.

    Call your sister. My kid sister is currently at stage 4 with mets to liver and lung. She's terminal. We haven't been close for over 15 years and there is no way to get that time back. My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 adenosquamous with mets to pancreas, liver, lymph system this past June and passed away on July 22nd at home with us on hospice. Don't avoid the 'C' word, say what you have to say so you don't regret not saying it later. She knows she has cancer, and not talking about it can make it harder for some people. Go to hystersisters and read thru the cancer forums so you can help her/listen, and understand what she's going through. Prayers that she responds to treatment and for your family for strength.
    Farmlady09

    Answer by Farmlady09 at 11:04 PM on Oct. 16, 2012

  • I agree with the others. Call her, even if you cry. Let her know you love her and you are there for her. I'm sorry you are dealing with this and I hope your sister makes a full recovery. Sometimes when things like this happen we realize that the small things in life and the little things we argue about are minuscule to the big picture. I doubt she will expect you to do more than try to stay positive and to pray for her.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 11:28 PM on Oct. 16, 2012

  • I truly believe that the worst thing you can do is avoid her. The big elephant in the room is that she has cancer. It's time to put your adult lady panties on and face the miserable shit life sometimes throws at us. Look at it this way, you will be so glad you did regardless of how this turns out. If it turns out badly, you'll ache forever if you choose avoidance. She has cancer but she is still your sister and doesn't need to feel like a leper. Get information on her prognosis and start being a support person from far away. You can always call, email, send snail mail items just to show you love her. They have come a long way with many cancers. We cannot guess what stage she is in so you should ask and take it a day at a time. Good luck to her and you.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:46 PM on Oct. 16, 2012

  • Call her. Talk and cry. Would you consider something like Skype so you can talk "face-to-face" over the computer?

    When you pray, it is OK to scream out "WHY!?"

    I will keep her and your family in my thoughts!
    saphire_eyes802

    Answer by saphire_eyes802 at 8:55 AM on Oct. 17, 2012

  • Thank you ladies!! I just don't know how to feel right now. I appreciate all the kind words it means a lot. I will be calling her probably this afternoon before she heads to OKC for treatment. I just hate the fact that she has to go through all of that. I read what chemo and radiation does and to know how much she is going to be hurting just kills me. It's not fair that she has to endure so much pain. Maybe I am thinking negatively, but I just can't help it. I am trying to stay postive but it's hard. I cried myself to sleep last night and woke up this morning with her on my mind.

    Again, thank you all for the kind words. I know I need to be there for my sister in any way I can. I just need to be strong for her and let her know she is on my mind and heart.
    goofygalno1

    Comment by goofygalno1 (original poster) at 9:56 AM on Oct. 17, 2012

  • Oh gosh, I am so sorry. I have 7 sisters and I worry about this sort of things. I will say a prayer for her and your family.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 11:53 AM on Oct. 17, 2012

  • Thanks so much booklover!!
    goofygalno1

    Comment by goofygalno1 (original poster) at 12:12 PM on Oct. 17, 2012

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