Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

i gotta get it off my chest.. another MIL problem!!!

ok so here is the story...
she is pissed bc supposedly i moved back to my home town bc i wanted to be with MY family. my hubbys family is from Buffalo,NY.
well the day we moved she said something to my friend which came over to say bye to us. she sid that my hub. NEVER wanted to move and that she blames ME and my DAD. im likeWTF bia!!! its not even like that.
i dont understand why she is acting like this. when i talked to her the other day. she had that attitude ...i dont like u...
i dont wnt it to bother me but it does and i get over it. my hub. wishes i would just ignore her. and its hard to.
she is coming to visit in April. and i know she will be 2 faced. or be a bia the whole weekend.
i just dont know what to do. she pissed me off all last year and now that im not around her i feel so relieved. she always stressed me out!!! 24-7
when we lived there it was literally "everyone loves raymond"

Answer Question
 
KCsMom08

Asked by KCsMom08 at 10:29 PM on Feb. 9, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (95 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Did you come between momma and her son!!! She likes her control over your life and you took it away from her. Some mother-in-laws can't let go of their sons... and don't appreciate or like the women who come between them. Girl, just smile and love your man... give MIL no thought or power in your life.... that's probably what is really pissing her off.... you took away her power!
    naturescape

    Answer by naturescape at 10:36 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • She is feeling hurt that you moved, so temper your reactions knowing this. This is one of those cases where you have to bend, to be flexible, to keep peace in the family. Since you know she has the attitude and won't be behaving well, do a lot of relaxing breaths, and pretend that she isn't irritating you. You have to be the grown up, the one in charge of the situation by making her feel that you respect her and want to make her happy while she is visiting.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:37 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I agree, you take the grown up role knowing that it may be her hurt feelings making her react this way. I learned in a communications class the other day that you should always assume the best in any situation over the worst. Maybe take the initiative to talk to her about it, but do it at a time when you are in control of your emotions. Don't let it fester and get worse and if she can't be a grown up and be forgiving and is still acting the way she is then she is the one with the problem, at that point take hubbies advice and ignore her, let her spend her time with him at the visit and take that as a time to do some ladies night out and shopping and what not.....
    bwick18

    Answer by bwick18 at 10:44 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • she is the type to piss me off even when im calm. and i let it go but she likes to keep going just to get a reaction. finally after she really gets to me. i tell her off. which she thinks is hilarious. im alwys trying to be the grown up.
    when she comes to visit shes gonna take control like my daughter is hers. which i dont like. i know shes gonna spoil her . whichis fine but seriously.. she will go to far and try and be the control freak. and bi*ch me out when i tell her i dont like when she does something i dont like. even if i say something nice or whatever.
    KCsMom08

    Answer by KCsMom08 at 10:45 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • i just told my hubby that when she comes down and visit. that i am gonna need time withmy friends. and try not to think about it.

    my other prob is hsi 16 yr old sister. shes way to rough withmy dd. she plays with her as if she is 2...shes only 5 months.
    but she really isnt my prob right now. my MIL just cant grow up and let go. but yet she puts all the blame on me. like i ruined her life. when shes got the marriage issues and $. but yet it comes back at me like im the bad guy. i get all the attitude
    KCsMom08

    Answer by KCsMom08 at 10:48 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Maybe suggest she get a hotel so it is more relaxed when she comes, and just let your kids spend time with her (and hubby) and you can just enjoy the time off...
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 10:51 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • if I where u.before she comes to visit have dh make it clear to her that he did not mine the move and that u did not force him to,and maybe again when she comes to visit
    momangel05

    Answer by momangel05 at 10:58 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • You may be giving her too much power over you. By the way, love Buffalo....Tondawanda born and bread. I want wings and pizza. She visits and she has to go. It is not like she plans on moving to Buffalo too. At least she wants to be part of your children's lives and they have a grandma who is willing to travel to see them. The only line I would draw is that she may not talk badly about me in front of my children or create stress through drama in my home while she visits. It would be okay by me for her to be two faced but just not with my children. I can live with anything knowing that in a week or two she will be gone. I would have my husband explain to her over the phone before the visit the rules are no talking bad about any family member, no negative talk about the house or Buffalo, no talk about moving back. Only good stuff. Simple enough.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Your going to have to find your strength and learn how to handle this Mother-in-law bully! I had a mother-in-law who was demanding and liked to have control. She wanted what she wanted when she wanted it... spoiled her 40 year old son with gifts when he didn't get his way in relationships... he wouldn't grow up. Find a way to confront her without being disrespectful but instead be assertive and strong. This is your home, your kids and she is your guest. Don't let her take her negative marriage issues out on you...stand up to her with love and strength. There are times when I catch my own mother in a state of "glee" when my sister or I have marital issues...like she wants us to be alone because she hates men. I will confront my own mother that I understand where she is coming from based on her own experience with men.... but I don't hate men... I 'm just wiser now!
    naturescape

    Answer by naturescape at 11:06 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • She definitely has control issues.
    NorahSethsMommy

    Answer by NorahSethsMommy at 11:07 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.