Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

15 year old SIL weighs 432 lbs. I'm scared for her. Is there anything *I* can or should do?

My SIL is 15 & weighs 432 lbs. I'm very scared for her. I'm afraid that she won't live to see her 18th birthday, let alone have the children she talks about having all the time. She has been morbidly obese since 5. The preportions & unhealthy food in that house are out of control. My MIL will make food for 6 people when it's just the 2 of them & let my SIL eat 4-5 plates per meal. My SIL has been to every type of doctor there is & they all say there isn't a medical reason that she is obese. They say it's diet & a sedatary (sp) life style. My MIL will not make my SIL follow the diets given to them by doctors for more than 2 weeks. She made the school excuse SIL from having to take PE. I feel so bad for her. She hates the way she looks & she has health problems that are complicated by her weight. Are there resources? Intervention programs? Anything that can help or wake up my MIL? I'm really concerned!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on Feb. 9, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • Wow. Not sure where you live and what resources are available. But that is sad and terrible. There is lots of room for concern. If she reaches a certain point her chest could colapse on her heart and other organs. Assuming your MIL is not in wonderful health either? What would happen to your SIL if something happens to her mother? They need some sort of intervention, but that is a sensitive topic. What does you hubby say?

    Answer by MissHeidi0304 at 11:22 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Your heart is in the right place, but believe me, there is NOTHING you can do. Anything you say is just going to make her feel like crap! Obviously she already realizes there is a problem. All you can do is continue to offer love and not judge her. Good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • My hubby is extremely concerned and wants to do something too. He' afraid he' going to lose his sister.

    My MIL is not in the best health and is over weight but I wouldn't say anywhere near obese.

    I'm just at a loss.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:29 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I would start simple- go for walks with her whenever you can. Talk about healthy food, what it can do for your body, how good it can taste. And eventually- maybe CPS should be called on mama... in my mind- what she is doing is child abuse...

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Maybe u could encourage her to do weight watchers. It does work U can look up on line weight watchers food points I know to determine the amount of points u get per day u take the 1st to digits of your weight so if she weighs432 she would get 43pts plus 1pt for height and 2 points for being a female and 2points for activity so she would get 48points per day once her points are used up she is done eating for the day.Your points go down as u loose because the 1st 2 digits go down and thats how it works.U also get 35 extraa points per week you can use them all at once or break them up over the week.Good luck and she is blessed to have someone in her life who truely cares and would give her the support and encourgament.Maybe u could invite her to go walking or exercise with u.I'll keep all in my thoughts.

    Answer by mom2fivekids579 at 11:45 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • Unfortunately and sadly, I don't know what you can do. When obesity is due to portion control... there are few diets that a person will stick too simply because the stomach is so stretched out and will control the person like a radio frequent signal in her head. She needs a good pediatrician that is experienced in obesity in children; regular doctors tend to just shake their finger at the parent and pat the patient on the arm... seriously she needs a doctor who knows how to address both the psychological and medical aspects of this disease. What is MOST unfortunate is that the MOTHER is the one in charge here and seems to have just as big a problem with codependency as the daughter does with food. If she has insurance, I'd be checking into Baylor Hospital for procedures and specialists..... there is an answer; I'm just afraid it's not easily found. Good luck and prayers for your family.

    Answer by PaceMyself at 6:28 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • What a sad story. Its kinda like dh. He is no where near obese, but he is heavy. His mother gives huge portion sizes. I cook healthy, but dh has a problem eating just one plate. He always over does it. I blame his mother. I love her to death, but she made him fat. Even now when dd is over there, she is already trying to overfeed her. The one day she told me that she fed her 2 whole 2nd Foods containers at dinner. Dd doesn't eat that much baby food in one day, let alone one meal. I will not allow my dd to go through that. She will not be the fat kid in school! We don't keep any kind of cookies or chips in this house and it will stay that way. Feeding someone waay too much is just as abusive as not feeding them enough.>>>the same goes for animals. If your dog is so fat that it doesn't want to even go for a walk, there is no one to blame except the person feeding it.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 1:15 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • maybe try getting her to watch some of those shows on discovery health. and try to get her educated on what she is doing to her body. and i'd let her know that you can be too heavy to get pregnant since that seems to be her ambition.

    Answer by princezzmommie at 5:48 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.