Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Peeping Tom Stepson...HELP!!!!

I have a 17 year old peeping tom stepson that was caught on numerous occasions peeping on me, My daughter (she's over 18), and his sister once. Like I said he was caught multiple times like lets say over ten times. He continued to do it even when he knew we were watching him. He has now been moved out of our home due to his Peeping tom ways. I really feel weird whenever I am around him. He scares me. He has never touched any of us, just looked, but still that is a scary feeling to have someone watching you when your in a shower, or getting dressed in the privacy of your home. I told his dad that he needs to see a counselor, he seems to think it's normal because my daughter & I are not his family by blood. Am I crazy or is his son showing us some RED FLAGS????????? IF anybody is a counselor, or Dr. I'd love to hear your input on my situation. Thanks.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on Feb. 9, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (8)
  • I'd say so, yes and I think many many many men (boys and older) have problems with this kind of thing because porn is just everywhere and society thinks it is the greatest complement to dress women sexy and have men ogle them...until we decide they've taken it too far.

    I once had a friend (thought he was a friend) abuse me while I was passed out (drunk). He did it again to another girl about a year later (or was caught anyway).

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I see where you're coming from, but my husband says you have to factor in other things. Like how long have you been the step mom? He may not feel you are family, since you aren't blood, and to him then it is okay. I agree some sort of counseling could be beneficial. That is an invasion of your privacy, once is one thing, but like ten times? Make me feel hella uncomfortable too. He is 17, by this point it should be beyond curiosity. I mean I'm 30 and can remember I was beyond curiosity by 17. I'd be especially concerned if he had any other issues, like social problems with others, problems at school. But he could be a late bloomer. IDK good luck with that one.

    Answer by MissHeidi0304 at 11:55 PM on Feb. 9, 2009

  • I agree with Miss Heidi. It might not be as big of a problem as you think. He could just be curious but I mean, if its making you uncomfortable, you should do something about it. But my question is, how is he "peeping" on you? If you know he's doing it, why aren't you locking your doors? I seriously doubt if the doors locked he's there with a bobby pin, trying to get in.

    Answer by mambearwhitt4 at 10:25 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I think this is a problem, whether you're family or not. Spying on someone in those situations is not acceptable. Yes, porn is everywhere - but those women know they're being looked at. To say it's the same thing is like saying sex is everywhere, so it's ok to rape a woman. (I'm NOT saying he's a rapist - just comparing the 2.)

    He knows that you've caught him, he knows you don't like it, and he still does it. It's a matter of boundaries and respect, and, frankly, criminal actions. People get arrested and go to jail for doing this to other people. Just do a search for Peeping Tom arrested and you'll see what I mean.

    What he's doing is wrong, and the family connection (or lack of) is besides the point - it just adds an element of creepy to it. Besides, you mention that he's also peeping on his sister - and she IS his blood family. It's wrong, and he needs help, and your dh isn't doing him any favors by denying it.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:11 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Yea , i definitely agree he has a problem. It was scary living with him. I am so glad that he is no longer in my home. Somebody left a rply to my question & asked if I lock doors YES' I did. He would then get creative & hid under beds, in closets, in bathtubs (with the shower curtain closed), would climb on trash cans to look in little tiny windows that were attacthed to the bathroom. He also would hide in the house when nobody knew he was there. So as you can see he was getting a little more creative as he knew he was being watched. Since he's been moved out of my home there have been NO episodes of his peeping anywhere since. Which kinda makes me wonder? WTF? He's been living elsewhere for 8 months now. There are no kids in the house where he's at now. Just him & his older Aunt. I just wanted to recap on the answers to my question from earlier...

    Answer by Me2dznb at 9:46 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • I wouldn't let a guy like that in my home and never alone with my daughters. That kid has problems. It's way beyond curiousity to start hiding in rooms and under beds. And you really don't know if he is peeping on anyone else, he might just not have been caught yet. Keep up your guard. Maybe invest in some good blinds or curtains!

    Answer by JustAMom2008 at 3:49 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • He is no Longer in my home!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer by Me2dznb at 4:31 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • Oh my this brings up the same thing with my son who is 18. I used to leave the bathroom door open and shower and he would say he hd to use the restroom. I caught him loking around the back of the curtian at my ass because then I turned around on him and he was still looking. I have caught him lots of times looking into my bedroom door when I was putting on my bra and underwear, he likes looking at me in my bra and regular underwear for some reason. I kept telling him to quit and he won't. I think he just wants to explore a little and he sees me and can't help to look. What would you other moms suggest?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 AM on Mar. 7, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.