Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

Why do navy wives military wives gossip so much about each other?

For the first time I was encountered with true navy life when I moved to Japan from the states.
When I was living in the states, i was uninhibited by navy wives, didn't hang out with anyone or very few people in the navy. My husband and I stayed to ourselves, family, or co workers at my job.
I did not really get a undrstanding of what military life was all about until, I moved to JAPAN!
All the horror stories were true! At first women run up to you to go out or hang out and or shopping.
Then you notice there forever, rude insecure comments, always seeming in competition with you.
Then when you go around other people who initially acted friendly or nice, they change up on you and for some reason you feel like everyone knows something about you. Or talking about you, but you can't place it. Left one area, and moved to another in Japan, learned my lesson, to stay to myself, and yet I still I feel the same aura, when I see certain women, THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW, have this kinda attitude!
What is wrong with them? There are some of the nice ones, but even they act nice on day and bipolar the next time you see them.
It gets kinda lonesome sometime to stay to yourself, but it better than getting mixed up a whole bunch of Childish crap. Where I come from, people mind there business, or else there will be consequences.
I have NEVER EVER encountered women like this in my life.
Someone please enlighten me!

Answer Question

Asked by Cece319 at 5:47 AM on Oct. 18, 2012 in Military

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Yea I do know what you mean. That is why I never went to those FRG meetings, I do not know what the Navy calls them, the army calls them that.

    The army wife's try to wear the DH's rank. For statues I guess. Higher ranking wives wouldn't even talk to lower ranking wives


    Answer by louise2 at 7:19 AM on Oct. 18, 2012

  • sounds like women, in general. always a competition, like its high school.

    Answer by dullscissors at 7:37 AM on Oct. 18, 2012

  • true, Women are always in competition. But these are obssesed with it. well I could find more interesting things to talk about like fashion, clothes and make up. Maybe if they were more into that kind of stuff, they wouldn't be so insecure and in competetion with other wives.
    But do you think it stems from unhappy marriages? I mean, the stories they tell all sound the same. I know we all have our share of problems in relationships, but most of there have horror stories about cheating or absuive husbands?
    What ya think?

    Comment by Cece319 (original poster) at 7:48 AM on Oct. 18, 2012

  • sounds like the rest of society. like dullscissors said, like women in general, its everywhere. Though i dont understand why it would be that way in the military. You all deal with the same things so why not be less catty and be there for each other? It seems like its a popularity contest. Next you're going to be voting for Home coming king and queen. Keep your head up and ignore it. Just walk away if they start in with the drama. If that doesnt work, handle it the way you would at home tell them to STFU you dont want to hear the constant whining and self deluded garbage that comes out of their mouth. Always remember Misery Loves Company!

    Answer by NotUrKidsBestie at 7:50 AM on Oct. 18, 2012

  • We didn't have that problem at my husbands squadron. But then again most of the guys weren't married lol

    Answer by Mrs_Harsh at 7:51 AM on Oct. 18, 2012

  • well if they were not married that's why. But I just like to understand things before zi make final judgement calls. It's like they so irriating, that it's hard to find a good friend in the bunch. And being overseas makes it worst cause there is language barriers with host country people as well as cultural difference. But they actually act nicer than the American wives do, I find LOL. Although I have some as friends, once again there is a the language barriers. Glad I'm leaving soon. I came with such high expectations, to find new friendships, and it's been a terrible.
    In my high school, I had really good girlfriends, and we were not at each other throats, we had each other backs. And we had fun and good time memories. I just felt for a long time I was in a twightlight zone picture. Most of them acted the same, made the same comments, etc.....
    When I was in the military, people warned.. "you don't wanna live in housing!

    Comment by Cece319 (original poster) at 8:04 AM on Oct. 18, 2012

  • Honestly that seems like the typical woman to least here where I am. I can't tell you how many "friends" I have been through in the past 6 years...they act like your best friend, but as soon as your back is turned, they run to their other friends and talk about you and say horrible things about you, twist your words, make up things, etc. I've always said there is something in the water here, but I think it's just how the typical bored woman tends to act....many military wives are SAHM's and most of the "friends" I have thrown to the curb here lately are SAHM's.

    BTW...Nothing against SAHM's (I am one), this has just been my experience.

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 8:23 AM on Oct. 18, 2012

  • We lived in housing & it was a blast. Everyone got along all the kids got along. I actually miss it, the people where I live are huge assholes.

    Answer by Mrs_Harsh at 8:24 AM on Oct. 18, 2012

  • Allabout keeley-
    I know women friends can sometimes be hard to deal with. My husband has moved like 7 times in the past 10 years, and I have been looking for somegood friends, I only found like 1 or 2. Like you said at first they will be all nice and act all BFF like, tell you private things. But as soon as you tell them something, they go tell the world. I mean we all need to vent, it is good for the soul, not to have things so bottled up. As a female, it seems easier to talk to your own sex, cause you feel more comfortable, right?
    If you do tell something it better be non essential, cause they will tell it it like wild fire, or turn it around.
    But what's worst overseas, you can't curse a MF out or say what's really on your mind, cause you have to play "get along with everyone games" , cause you can't fight or argue, cause you will get in trouble. And believe me, i have dodged many bullets

    Comment by Cece319 (original poster) at 8:58 AM on Oct. 18, 2012

  • Just wondering what are SAHM"s, tell if you can, if not it's cool.

    Comment by Cece319 (original poster) at 9:02 AM on Oct. 18, 2012

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.