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Why do navy wives military wives gossip so much about each other?

For the first time I was encountered with true navy life when I moved to Japan from the states.
When I was living in the states, i was uninhibited by navy wives, didn't hang out with anyone or very few people in the navy. My husband and I stayed to ourselves, family, or co workers at my job.
I did not really get a undrstanding of what military life was all about until, I moved to JAPAN!
All the horror stories were true! At first women run up to you to go out or hang out and or shopping.
Then you notice there forever, rude insecure comments, always seeming in competition with you.
Then when you go around other people who initially acted friendly or nice, they change up on you and for some reason you feel like everyone knows something about you. Or talking about you, but you can't place it. Left one area, and moved to another in Japan, learned my lesson, to stay to myself, and yet I still I feel the same aura, when I see certain women, THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW, have this kinda attitude!
What is wrong with them? There are some of the nice ones, but even they act nice on day and bipolar the next time you see them.
It gets kinda lonesome sometime to stay to yourself, but it better than getting mixed up a whole bunch of Childish crap. Where I come from, people mind there business, or else there will be consequences.
I have NEVER EVER encountered women like this in my life.
Someone please enlighten me!





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Cece319

Asked by Cece319 at 5:47 AM on Oct. 18, 2012 in Military

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • It's not just the Navy, its all the branches. Women are just catty like that in general, military wives or not. But its worse in the military because most of the women don't work so they're bored and have nothing better to do than start drama... It sucks. That's why I have only one friend on post. The rest suck and you don't know who to trust. You're just going to have to grin and bare it and make thr best out of.it. Good Luck!!
    molly_beth13

    Answer by molly_beth13 at 1:54 AM on Mar. 27, 2013

  • How an I start sooo much to say, but first thing I wanna say Ive been a military wife for 6 years now, and the big conclusion I have come to is.......most military wives are YOUNG. Young girls who are insecure , who never really grew up cause they got married at 18. Let me tell you, when I got married at 18 I was the same way, and so were my neighbors. Its like college to be honest. My whole block was filled with wives anywhere between 18-21 with a or two kids. All I can say is, as your husband picks up, and the older he gets in the military, the older the military wives will be as you meet them, which is good.
    ymilr0718

    Answer by ymilr0718 at 12:38 AM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • Well i only read half of what you wrote. Sounds like that a lot of this is because only half of REAL women can be themselves. It is kinda like high school when you run into the wrong crowd. I have seen it all. There are three types of people in this world, givers, takers, and mean people. My husband has been in for over 8 years. i have noticed a lot of navy wives have mental issue's. I don't call myself a navy wife for that reason. i'm stronger than that. It put a label on us, so auto maticaly everyone thinks were crazy. I hope that you dont loose faith in a lot of "navy wives" because were all not out there with labels.... good luck in the future though ;)
    mck05

    Answer by mck05 at 3:10 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • This is one of the reasons why I've pretty much stuck to myself. I don't like people who talk poorly about their other "friends", because if they are saying that about their friend, what are they saying behind YOUR back?
    hopeandglory53

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 4:57 PM on Oct. 18, 2012

  • I don't know anything about military wives but I can tell you gossiping about other wives/women is NOT just a military thing lol. Women everywhere do this.
    maecntpntz219

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 10:20 AM on Oct. 18, 2012

  • Just wondering what are SAHM"s, tell if you can, if not it's cool.
    Cece319

    Comment by Cece319 (original poster) at 9:02 AM on Oct. 18, 2012

  • Allabout keeley-
    I know women friends can sometimes be hard to deal with. My husband has moved like 7 times in the past 10 years, and I have been looking for somegood friends, I only found like 1 or 2. Like you said at first they will be all nice and act all BFF like, tell you private things. But as soon as you tell them something, they go tell the world. I mean we all need to vent, it is good for the soul, not to have things so bottled up. As a female, it seems easier to talk to your own sex, cause you feel more comfortable, right?
    If you do tell something it better be non essential, cause they will tell it it like wild fire, or turn it around.
    But what's worst overseas, you can't curse a MF out or say what's really on your mind, cause you have to play "get along with everyone games" , cause you can't fight or argue, cause you will get in trouble. And believe me, i have dodged many bullets
    Cece319

    Comment by Cece319 (original poster) at 8:58 AM on Oct. 18, 2012

  • We lived in housing & it was a blast. Everyone got along all the kids got along. I actually miss it, the people where I live are huge assholes.
    Mrs_Harsh

    Answer by Mrs_Harsh at 8:24 AM on Oct. 18, 2012

  • Honestly that seems like the typical woman to me...at least here where I am. I can't tell you how many "friends" I have been through in the past 6 years...they act like your best friend, but as soon as your back is turned, they run to their other friends and talk about you and say horrible things about you, twist your words, make up things, etc. I've always said there is something in the water here, but I think it's just how the typical bored woman tends to act....many military wives are SAHM's and most of the "friends" I have thrown to the curb here lately are SAHM's.

    BTW...Nothing against SAHM's (I am one), this has just been my experience.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 8:23 AM on Oct. 18, 2012

  • well if they were not married that's why. But I just like to understand things before zi make final judgement calls. It's like they so irriating, that it's hard to find a good friend in the bunch. And being overseas makes it worst cause there is language barriers with host country people as well as cultural difference. But they actually act nicer than the American wives do, I find LOL. Although I have some as friends, once again there is a the language barriers. Glad I'm leaving soon. I came with such high expectations, to find new friendships, and it's been a terrible.
    In my high school, I had really good girlfriends, and we were not at each other throats, we had each other backs. And we had fun and good time memories. I just felt for a long time I was in a twightlight zone picture. Most of them acted the same, made the same comments, etc.....
    When I was in the military, people warned.. "you don't wanna live in housing!
    Cece319

    Comment by Cece319 (original poster) at 8:04 AM on Oct. 18, 2012

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