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My hubby and I used to be Best friends. For 3 years now, he has been "emotionally unavailable"; we have lost our connection. This started when his mom died and our son was diagnosed with autism. Guess it was too much for him to handle, so he "withdrew". We've been to counseling together and individually. I don't really have any friends. I am so lonely and I can't take dealing with all that life throws us by myself anymore. Any ideas??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on Jun. 19, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I suggest you join a women's group, prayer group, MOPS, MOMS Club, Women's Club, gardening group... Anything to connect with others. Work on you, pray for your hubby.

    Answer by TXdanielly at 7:26 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • Encouraging words without bringing the issues up to surface. Love, tight hugs, smiles when he least expects it. Looks like he's dealing with emotional pain, it's not YOU. I'd stay by his side, take the kids out to give him space. I get like that every time i stress out. Even when it seems he's rejecting you, he isn't. He needs and wants your Love. Another issue, like a separation would be devastating. Be strong, girl. Give him Love, give him Space, and most importantly, leave the issues alone and only talk about the positive. How amazing your child is, what a beautiful day, what a nice area you live in, how gorgeous the flowers are etc.
    He will come back.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:27 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • oh gosh i feel so bad.......that will happen throughout marriage ,,,,it may feel sooooooooooooooooooo bad right now, but it gets beter..really........We have a daughter w. Downsyndrome ...i know how it can be..........why no friends?very important ,,,maybe u need an outlet.............plssssssss keep me posted,,,,,,,,,,,

    Answer by cameron536 at 7:28 PM on Jun. 19, 2008


    Answer by Anonymous at 7:34 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • you need a user name so i cna check in and se how you are doing??

    Answer by cameron536 at 7:36 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • You need to plug back into life. As a previous poster mentioned you should join a group or get more involved in your church or even take a class. Something for you. It's great that you and your husband are best friends but at the same time if you notice he is having a hard time try not to lean on his shoulder too hard, maybe let him lean on you for a while. You can always vent your problems to your Mom or all the friends you will be making for a while while your husband gets through this rough patch.

    Answer by Eliza34 at 7:51 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I have to say my son is autistic too. It caused a lot of problems, because it's a stressful thing to deal with. THe divorce rate for parents of autism is somewhere near 80 percent, MUCH higher than the norm. What it takes is a lot of hard work and focus. I would suggest a family trip. I just recently found out about and it sounds so neat. It's hard, but you need to bond as a family. Do for yourself, but also do for the family. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say, I don't know if I'm phrasing it right. Contact me anytime to talk. I hope it helps.

    Answer by NomadSara at 8:00 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I think it is selfish of him to withdraw. As moms we are not allowed to withdraw, not that we'd want to, but what makes him so special? It's your child!!! Withdrawing is not an option!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 AM on Jul. 3, 2008

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