Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Power of CPS and the government involvement in parenting....

I have recently been dealing with some stuff on the topic as well seen alot of things regarding CPS lately. It got me wondering what do you ladies think? When it involves the protection of children How far is to far? Is there a to far? When should they butt out and when should they step in? Under what circumstances should they be able to remove children from homes? Is there a point where some times being to strict or to cautious could be counter productive? I mean thinking about it logically there are a number of stories where they make mistakes remove kids for no good reason. Could this be more detrimental? What of the strife caused to the family or the hardship on the children. Should there be a set mandate for when it is acceptable or not to break up a family? and What if there is a mistake made what if a family is disrupted and later found the concerns were not warranted? Should there be punishments for the workers involved or compensation for the families it harm? When does parenting cease to be individualized and when is it controlled or should be controlled by the government? If you are unjustly accused should you fight or roll with it? What do you think and what would you do if it was you?

Answer Question

Asked by hot-mama86 at 4:42 PM on Oct. 19, 2012 in Parenting Debate

Level 26 (29,263 Credits)
Answers (43)
  • Should there be a set mandate for when it is acceptable or not to break up a family?--

    no. simply put, no two stories are alike. there's always variables to consider. for the most part, i believe CPS's actions to be solely based on the fundemental welfare/care of the child(ren). of course mistakes can happen, but for the most part, i think its a rarity.
    how far is too far? i don't think there is is such a place when children are involved.
    there's no set standard for when to remove and when not to remove, as i said, every case is different.

    Answer by dullscissors at 4:51 PM on Oct. 19, 2012

  • wow, felt like i was in a manic phase where my mind was racing so fast that I couldn't make sense of things. Maybe break this up a bit to make it easier to focus?

    too many questions all jammed together, headache!

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 4:55 PM on Oct. 19, 2012

  • The problem is that when it comes to parenting, it's highly personal. Of course there's a line that makes a situation unquestionable wrong, but in many circumstances, it's not that clear-cut. Would I call CPS if I saw a mother spanking her child? No. When it comes to isolated cases, I think people should butt out, we don't know the whole story, and ultimately, any parent can "loose it" and do or say something they regret later and let's be honest, there's no permanent damage done. If we know and have witnessed constant abuse or neglect, then by all means, interfere. Just be sure that it IS abuse. If anyone nowadays had heard the way my uncle talked to my 2 cousins, they would have CPS knocking on their door. He cursed a lot and he used not very flattering names to his sons. But everyone close to them- including my cousins- knew that it was done jokingly and that he was really very affectionate. It was just his way of talking

    Answer by momto2boys973 at 4:59 PM on Oct. 19, 2012

  • too many questions all jammed together, headache! -

    luv, meet hotmama. you'll get used to it. :)

    Answer by dullscissors at 5:00 PM on Oct. 19, 2012

  • lets just say they stick their noses where it doesnt belong and then dont stick their noses where it does belong

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 5:05 PM on Oct. 19, 2012

  • I definitely have mixed feelings on this! My first thought is that they always need to protect the child. But my ex called cps on me twice - they definitely need to take into account WHO is making the accusations. In my case, it was out of pure malice and that was pretty obvious. My children were 5, 6, and 9 the first time he called and he had never had a problem with me taking care of them while we were married and he went on extended business trips but all of a sudden now that we're separated I'm a huge threat to my kids? Unlikely. The second time it wasn't a big deal because we'd been through it, but the first time it was pretty traumatic - I had never known anyone to be involved in something like that.
    I do think there are mistakes when children are unjustly removed, but I would rather have that happen occasionally than a child be beaten to death because they weren't removed soon enough.

    Answer by missanc at 5:06 PM on Oct. 19, 2012

  • But if anyone not familiar with that would hear him say something like "where's that looser?" When talking about on of his sons would judge him as cruel or abusive.
    It's very tricky and I'm tempted to say that better safe than sorry, but I also don't think that's good. It's because of people judging everything they don't like as abuse or neglect and abusing CPS the ones directing the limited resources to cases where CPS isn't needed. If we could have a healthier perspective, then maybe the reported cases would be cases where actual help is needed. Parenting isn't divided in wonderful and abusive. A parent may do something that's less than ideal, it doesn't mean it's CPS worthy. And parents also maje mistakes, they can loose their patience, they can react negatively and we need to give them the benefit of the doubt when we witness an isolated incidence.


    Answer by momto2boys973 at 5:06 PM on Oct. 19, 2012

  • Luv I apologize my mind races on certain topics and it's hard to just pull out one point, because all the points are valid in the thinking.

    Dull so with yourn answer I must ask. If you were a CPS worker would you respond to a report of skinned knees and stinky feet or put it in the pile that does not get attention? In a situation where children are unabused and healthy happy would you remove children due to household things that are a landlords responsibility or instead assist the parents in other ways?

    momto I agree my best friends mom was the best mom I knew yet if CPS were ever called she wold have been in a world of hurt due to her unorthedozed methods of p[arenting

    Comment by hot-mama86 (original poster) at 5:07 PM on Oct. 19, 2012

  • missanc though in a way I agree with you at the same time Im concerned with the psychological damage that could be and is in many situations done to the children in these situation. Is it really worth it? Especially when so often they forces on cases where kids are not in danger yet they ignore issue where the kids are in danger and often times actr to late.

    Comment by hot-mama86 (original poster) at 5:13 PM on Oct. 19, 2012

  • due to household things that are a landlords responsibility or instead assist the parents in other ways?--

    that would depend on what i had the power/authority to do. CPS's concern is the safety of the child, not finding proper living space for the adults responsible for them. likewise, it's not CPS's duty to oversee the landlord's comings/goings with his/her property. there are other offices for that.
    i am not a CPS officer, therefore idk what their guidelines are. i've been told they respond to every they respond is the decretion of the office, i would guess. for someone to complain about a child having skinned knees/stinky feet, they would need more to go on, don't you think? something tells me the complaint was more than that.

    Answer by dullscissors at 5:14 PM on Oct. 19, 2012

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.