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3 Bumps

Power of CPS and the government involvement in parenting....

I have recently been dealing with some stuff on the topic as well seen alot of things regarding CPS lately. It got me wondering what do you ladies think? When it involves the protection of children How far is to far? Is there a to far? When should they butt out and when should they step in? Under what circumstances should they be able to remove children from homes? Is there a point where some times being to strict or to cautious could be counter productive? I mean thinking about it logically there are a number of stories where they make mistakes remove kids for no good reason. Could this be more detrimental? What of the strife caused to the family or the hardship on the children. Should there be a set mandate for when it is acceptable or not to break up a family? and What if there is a mistake made what if a family is disrupted and later found the concerns were not warranted? Should there be punishments for the workers involved or compensation for the families it harm? When does parenting cease to be individualized and when is it controlled or should be controlled by the government? If you are unjustly accused should you fight or roll with it? What do you think and what would you do if it was you?

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Asked by hot-mama86 at 4:42 PM on Oct. 19, 2012 in Parenting Debate

Level 26 (29,263 Credits)
Answers (43)
  • Should there be a set mandate for when it is acceptable or not to break up a family?--

    no. simply put, no two stories are alike. there's always variables to consider. for the most part, i believe CPS's actions to be solely based on the fundemental welfare/care of the child(ren). of course mistakes can happen, but for the most part, i think its a rarity.
    how far is too far? i don't think there is is such a place when children are involved.
    there's no set standard for when to remove and when not to remove, as i said, every case is different.

    Answer by dullscissors at 4:51 PM on Oct. 19, 2012

  • lets just say they stick their noses where it doesnt belong and then dont stick their noses where it does belong

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 5:05 PM on Oct. 19, 2012

  • In the cases where children are unjustly removed I feel there should be restitution! There could be a lot of psychological harm to the children as well as the parents. I don't necessarily think any one person should be held at fault, but they should be allowed to seek reasonable costs of hardship- lost wages, therapist bills, lost school tuition (if private school) etc.

    Too far is when they can tell me exactly how to raise my child. As long as someone is causing their child undue physical, mental, or emotional harm is is abuse. Beyond that they should have no say.

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 5:26 PM on Oct. 19, 2012

  • I definitely have mixed feelings on this! My first thought is that they always need to protect the child. But my ex called cps on me twice - they definitely need to take into account WHO is making the accusations. In my case, it was out of pure malice and that was pretty obvious. My children were 5, 6, and 9 the first time he called and he had never had a problem with me taking care of them while we were married and he went on extended business trips but all of a sudden now that we're separated I'm a huge threat to my kids? Unlikely. The second time it wasn't a big deal because we'd been through it, but the first time it was pretty traumatic - I had never known anyone to be involved in something like that.
    I do think there are mistakes when children are unjustly removed, but I would rather have that happen occasionally than a child be beaten to death because they weren't removed soon enough.

    Answer by missanc at 5:06 PM on Oct. 19, 2012

  • wow, felt like i was in a manic phase where my mind was racing so fast that I couldn't make sense of things. Maybe break this up a bit to make it easier to focus?

    too many questions all jammed together, headache!

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 4:55 PM on Oct. 19, 2012

  • The problem is that when it comes to parenting, it's highly personal. Of course there's a line that makes a situation unquestionable wrong, but in many circumstances, it's not that clear-cut. Would I call CPS if I saw a mother spanking her child? No. When it comes to isolated cases, I think people should butt out, we don't know the whole story, and ultimately, any parent can "loose it" and do or say something they regret later and let's be honest, there's no permanent damage done. If we know and have witnessed constant abuse or neglect, then by all means, interfere. Just be sure that it IS abuse. If anyone nowadays had heard the way my uncle talked to my 2 cousins, they would have CPS knocking on their door. He cursed a lot and he used not very flattering names to his sons. But everyone close to them- including my cousins- knew that it was done jokingly and that he was really very affectionate. It was just his way of talking

    Answer by momto2boys973 at 4:59 PM on Oct. 19, 2012

  • We have a neighbor who has had CPS called multiple times, but for whatever reason, still has her kids. She shouldn't. The scarier part is she lives with her parents, and they are both mandatory reporters, yet can't seem to stop the neglect going on with their own grandchildren when they aren't home.

    Meanwhile my friend lost years with his children because his psycho ex-wife filed false charges and it took years to appeal and get it all overturned.

    It's a very broken system.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 5:30 PM on Oct. 19, 2012

  • Our family has recently had a deal with CPS. We decided after many discussions, attempts to help change the situation, that my dd's 4 children should be removed from her care. My ds and his wife took the kids then called CPS to get temp custody to get them in school and to be able to take them to the dr. Of course my dd says we had no reason to take the kids, she blames me for all this. Honestly I just couldn't let the kids stay in that situation any longer, I had been trying to help for years, just taking the kids for a day or two or a week or two, sometimes a month or more, then she'd come take them back. The kids were cry to me and beg me to come get them. There were ligit reasons for her kids to be taken. She says there are not. She is able to go visit them at her brother's house anytime. She is not allowed to take them anywhere, she is in a drug treatment program, she has random drug tests....etc....but (continued)

    Answer by robyann at 8:43 PM on Oct. 19, 2012

  • too many questions all jammed together, headache! -

    luv, meet hotmama. you'll get used to it. :)

    Answer by dullscissors at 5:00 PM on Oct. 19, 2012

  • due to household things that are a landlords responsibility or instead assist the parents in other ways?--

    that would depend on what i had the power/authority to do. CPS's concern is the safety of the child, not finding proper living space for the adults responsible for them. likewise, it's not CPS's duty to oversee the landlord's comings/goings with his/her property. there are other offices for that.
    i am not a CPS officer, therefore idk what their guidelines are. i've been told they respond to every they respond is the decretion of the office, i would guess. for someone to complain about a child having skinned knees/stinky feet, they would need more to go on, don't you think? something tells me the complaint was more than that.

    Answer by dullscissors at 5:14 PM on Oct. 19, 2012

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