Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My mom

I have a very strained relationship with my mother due to emotional and physical abuse she put me through as a child. I didn't speak to her for 5yrs of my adult life due to her b.s. She doesn't spend any time with my daughters and favors my neice over them because their father is a black man. But get this, that whole side of my family is African American!

Over the holidays, my mother didn't take her pills and was stressed out I suppose and tried to physically assult me in front of my girls and my DH. My oldest was traumatized by these events and still is to an extent. I guess my question is, should I allow this woman to see my girls at all, or am I doing the right thing by keeping my distance. Should I try and patch things up for my girls despite the b.s. and harm she's caused my family?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:05 AM on Feb. 10, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • try talking to her first and if she still actes the same way then tell her that if shes going to acct that way then you will not let her around your kids. i've been through it. you need to put your kids first do you want your mom geting mean and aggrvise around you kids and then when your kids get older do you want them to act like you mom. i know i wouldnt. you got to stand up for your self and your kids. dont let her do that exspeacially around your kids

    Answer by tracy210 at 8:43 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • you could try to talk to her. but from what you said i doubt that she will even listen.

    and since she traumatized your oldest i wouldnt even think about letting her close to my kids again.

    ignore her i guess. but if you love her and know she could do better, then maybe you can try to help her out of this mess and get her some help.

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 3:32 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Well my mom is not the candy apple of the eye nor does she think that way about me either. I will tell you one thing though, for me personally, I have put my foot down on my mom. i will not tolerate being be littled or treated anything less than I deserve. If she does, I pack up and I leave. I now hold most family events at my house. Anyone cannot behave we gladly ask them to leave. Thing is, my family all come, why? Because I am firm what I will or will not tolerate and I stick with my guns, but I also make sure I treat them all with respect, even those I really dislike.

    Answer by TheFriskyKitty at 3:35 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • on the safe side, for your childrens sake dont let her around them. its what i would do atleast.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:58 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I have not spoken to my mother in 6 years due to bad circumstances, it really came down to thinking of it like this : if she were not my mother would I want her around my family? And the answer was NO. Sadly sometimes family members are not good for us and the kids are better off with out that grandmother than with a bad relationship to hold onto blood ties.

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 8:01 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I agree with goaliemom.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:41 AM on Feb. 24, 2009