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my child does not want to go to preschool

How ca I get my child to want to go to preschool. He is 31/2. I gave him a time out for 8 mins all together then I ened up spaning him. I feel so bad. I dont belive in spanking I really want an alternative. Maybe no tv in the morning? Rewords? I dont know please help. Im very upset with myself........

thankyou so much :-(

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Asked by cajungal at 9:24 AM on Feb. 10, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • he probaly just doesn't want to leave you, I would take him to meet the teacher, if he hasn't already, and go for a day with him, and then tell him everything will be ok, and you will see him after he is done playing with the other little kids. good luck.

    Answer by Jessica1991 at 9:26 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Perhaps your child is dealing with seperation anxiety, My son did it when he started preschool and i thought I tried everything until......I blew him a kiss and he would catch it and he would hold on to it all day. There were times he wouldnt let me leave so I had to hand him off to the teacher and walk away. The worst thing you can do is hang around while he is upset. It doesnt benefit the child or parent. Also I did reward charts. It was all very successful. Now that he is in kindergarten, we are past all that and loves school. I still do rewards for good behavior. Children desire to have things to work for. They become proud of themselves and it builds self confidence. So give incentives and things for your child to look forward to for good behavior. Think positive. Things will work out. Good luck!

    Answer by 7ALLTOGETHER at 9:40 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Why is he going to preschool? If you are not able to stay home with him, that is one thing. But if you are able to keep him with you and you want to...don't send him. My children went to school when they were old enough for kindergarten and have all been straight A students. I don't know your situation, but I just wanted to say preschool is not necessary to have a well-adjusted child. Follow your heart not the pressure of others.

    On the other hand, we all need a break sometimes, so don't beat yourself up if you just need time for yourself. He is behaving like a normal toddler does. Does he stop crying shortly after you leave? Is he happy when you return? If so, just make the moment of separation as quick as possible and get on with your day. But always, always, listen to your heart.

    Answer by kittensandpup at 11:05 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • So Preschool = punishment is the message you're sending?

    What about just explaining to him that we all have to do things we may not want to do at times?

    What is his reason for not wanting to go? What have you done to address that reason?

    Is it absolutely necessary he attend preschool at age 3 1/2?

    Just my thoughts....

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 11:28 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Sounds like your son is already enrolled in preschool and reluctant to go maybe because he might be having a problem at school. Have you asked him why he doesn't like to go to school? Sometimes it's as simple as not having any friend, a bully,  or not liking the teacher.  ONce you help him find a solution to his probem, he might be more willing to go.  Remember, also, not to show any frustration or impatiance in the morning when getting ready.  Even he if cries, get him ready, giving him losts of hugs and reassurance.   Here's somthing that  works alot of time...make a deal with him...If he goes to school and has a good time..after you pick him up..he can have ice cream!!!! or whatever he loves to eat or do!!!! (bribery works all the time) and follow through with it.    But the deal has to be after school and not before. Remind him as he gets ready, wh

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:12 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Preschool is so unnecessary, but if you feel that he needs to go, then try figuring out why he doesnt want to go. I learned something recently in regards to children. You can force them to "act" how you want them to act by punishment (in whatever form) but you will not change the heart or what they are feeling inside about the issue. You simply are making him go through the motions. I feel its better to work on the heart and find out WHY they are acting out or afraid and deal with the root of the problem. I am a spanking mom for sure, but if my child was showing fear and not wanting to go to school, I would not spank them. Thats just not the right way to handle it. Hes only 3. Cut him a break and figure out if somethings going on at school or if he just wants to be with you. None of my kids went to school until 4 and even then, I am not convinced its necessary. Mommy time is SO much better and they learn just as much.

    Answer by momofsaee at 1:38 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I don't agree that preschool is a waste of time and money. Personally, I think it can be an incredible opportunity for kids if the right fit is found.

    However, I also think the absolute WRONG message is punishing his reluctance. You're now association school with a negative. Who *would* want to go to something that gets him spanked and punished?

    When you say he doesn't want to go - what is happening? Is he refusing to get ready? Is he crying and giving you a hard time at drop off? What is the exact issue? that's easier to suggest ideas for than a broad question.


    Answer by ldmrmom at 3:35 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • My son started preschool when he was 3, and had a heck of a time with it at first. Since he's always been a shy, anxious little guy, though, I felt pretty strongly about getting him there for two years before kindergarten. There was a lot of crying and pleading at first in the fall, and then again after a long Christmas break. I would always just smile, give him a hug and a kiss, peel him off me and leave. He's 4 now, and every once in a while still goes through an "I don't want to go to school" phase, but the change in him has been amazing. He loves school, and his teachers tell me he's a great friend to other kids there. Before he was even through his first year, he would run up to kids his age at the park to make friends (instead of running as fast as he could in the other direction!). He feels much more confident and independent, and it was worth all the tears (his and mine on the way down the school driveway...).

    Answer by mem33 at 4:13 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I would try to act excited for him about preschool and tell him ahead of time wow you get to color today you are so lucky.They have all those cool toys and all your new friends will be there.And before you know it mommy will be there to take you home.Getting them excited by acting excited for them really helps me.

    Answer by summerray5 at 8:44 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I freaked when my mom sent me to pre-school. They made us take a nap in a really dark room and I was afraid of the dark. I guess the other stuff was fun, but I just remember that horrible dark room. She took me out and when I went to Kindergarten, I was fine. I never threw a fit about that. I suppose you should ask him if anything scares him or what he doesn't like about school.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

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