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iam having trouble with my son being gone

i have a 19 year old and he decided to join the army. He has been gone since Nov and Iam still having trouble with him being gone. Now he called and said he will be stationed over in Germany and in July he will go to Irac. All I do is cry when he calls home. What can I do????

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Asked by MPBNMOM at 9:36 AM on Feb. 10, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (1 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • I'm sorry. You must miss him so very much!! Do you work? If not, perhaps start volunteering somewhere to get your mind off of missing him. You might find something that you LOVE doing. Write him letters and let him know how proud you are of him and how much you miss him!

    Answer by StarLee at 9:41 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I am very sorry that you are having such a rough time. We all miss our children when they leave home, but I can't imagine the agony you must be going through to have your son going into a problem zone. Pray. Pray for him and pray for strength to handle your worry. Try to develop a positive attitude. This will help you as well as your son when he talks to you. Don't let your fears overwhelm you, it is bad for you and bad for him. Say to yourself, I will be strong, I will be positive, I am strong, I am strong. Good luck, and hugs.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:41 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • i think you should find a base in your area...they have groups...for wives and mothers...i live near hanscom field my husband is not in the military (he missed vietnam nam )by 100 numbers)the draft...the lady next stores husband is in the service.i know they do stay together .so i think you should look for a group.and just be proud that he is doing a noble thing...

    Answer by snowmom974 at 9:42 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I feel your pain! Please stay busy and write lots of letters. Also, journaling will do you good. It does take some time to get started but once you start you won't be able to stop and one day he will cherish your words more than ever. Don't be afraid to cry!!! You and he are in our prayers!

    Answer by pepperannrocks at 10:15 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • What you can do is get busy and stay that way! Both of my children have left home and it almost tore my heart out when my oldest left. Everyone said it will be easier with the 2nd leaving...I DON"T THINK SO. She left and the other part of my heart flopped.So, after I cried forever and a day, I started keeping busy. Do you work? If you do, keep it up, If you don't and don't want too, volunteer somewhere. You also have to remember your son is missing you too and this is hard on him also but he had to grow up fast.If at all possible try not to cry when he calls, (I am thinking about him on this one) If you get busy doing this and that, it will help you so much. Right now you don't feel that way, but, it will get better.

    Answer by Kat122 at 10:53 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I am so sorry your going through this, I would be devastated if my son joined the army. I would always be worried, just a mom thing. Focus on what a great son you have to defend his country for our freedom. I would be proud but sad. Is there a support group in your area??


    Answer by mommiedear at 1:11 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I went through this about 2 years ago when my oldest son joined the Navy. Keeping busy is the best way to get through this. The Navy website had a link to a group for parents, spouses, significant others, etc. of sailors. That was a great help once I found it. (4 months after he graduated boot camp!)

    It is a grieving process you are going through. I talked to a counselor because I had such a hard time about 5 months after he left. You have to go through all the steps of grief, just like when you lose a loved one. This is a life change that takes time to adjust to. Keep writing to him and if it helps you, keep a journal of your feelings and thoughts. Find a group online or near home for military parents,etc. That way you can talk to people who have or are going through the very same thing you are.

    You can send me a message if you want to talk about it. I will be glad to help you.

    Answer by BayouGirlnOK at 6:03 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Your son is doing something few are willing to do. I know you must be filled with pride. There are several things you can get involved in that not only help the soldiers but their loved ones too.

    Get yourself some of these shirts and wear them with pride.

    Try to get involved in things so when he talks to you, you can report the labor of love you are doing to help not only him but other soldiers.




    Answer by Buddhavista at 7:58 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • He is still almost a child, and to see a child go away into a dangerous, combat situation must be very stressful and scary, especially Iraq, an occupation, I believe, of choice by the past administration. Obama is planning on having all of our military out of there within a year, so possibly he will not be there for long. Good luck!

    Answer by LilDi at 9:14 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • Nothing is going to stop you from thinking of him or worrying about him. The best thing you can do for yourself is pray for him, ALOT. Write letters, they can be much more personal and he can pull it out and look at it whenever he feels away from you, and you can do the same. Send him care packages if you can. Do take up a hobby, or spend alot of time with the family you have with you :)

    Answer by lilmizzie27 at 8:16 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

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