Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Men self pleasuring over sex

So my DH lately has been self pleasuring himself then have sex with me. I have caught him every morning for a week in the shower. I have even tried to join him and he tells me to go back to bed that if he wanted me he'd use me not his hand.

I'm about to quit my job due to my mental health and the well being of my kids and this was his suggestion. Sence I started working I can count on 1 hand how many times we've had sex. An I have only been working 5 months.

I have tried naughty nighty's when I get home at midnight I have even tried to get sexxy when he comes home for lunch.

Suggestion Help

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:04 AM on Feb. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Have you tried asking him what the problem is? Sometimes self stimulation is just like scratching an itch, but it sounds like this is more than that. It may be a symptom of a larger problem. Try clearing the lines of communication. Don't start out accusatory toward him. Ask if there is a problem and what can be done to fix it. If he's not sure how to articulate it be patient with him. Make sure he sees that you are just trying to understand him so that you can improve your relationship. I would also not leave your job (unless it's already too late) until you know for sure that he wants to work on this problem. Good luck!

    Answer by beckcorc at 10:10 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I hope you have sat him down and told him this (masturbating) this is ruining our marriage.  That your a your wits end with it.

    If he does not want you sexualy. Why stay with him.   I say.


    Answer by louise2 at 10:13 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • my dh used to do this all the time. it pissed me off. i felt left out and thought i was the problem. we talked about it, and he said he does it b/c hes only bored. i understand those things are natural.. but sometimes they do it just b/c "its" there, you know. however...i dont agree with what your dh said to about"if he needed you", he would use you not his hand" that was a bit harsh, i would be a bit concerned with that sttement. so i could understand how you feel about that. anyways.. just a tip, if he continues to not understand your feeling on can always do what i did.... do it yourself as well! even if you dont like to and you feel akward about it.. make it seem like you are...and see what his reaction will be. i know it sounds a bit selfish, but trust me...what is he really going to say or do about it? if he has an issue with you doing it say "well since you dont need me... i'll do it myself"! that should do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:18 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Maybe he is not that into you to him, something is not right.

    But don't give up on what you are doing. GL


    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 11:14 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.