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3 Bumps

Divorce advise please

Hi.

this weekend it has been confirmed that my husband and i will divorce. We are both in a midlife crisis, where he is too social and flirtatious, and i'm serious and responsible.

I felt a lot of pressure lately, as my husband wou' like me to be more athletic and socialize with the wives of his friends that are wealthy enough and don't need to work, so they spend many hours a day at the gym. He flattered them and on a couple of occasions it got too much in terms of flirting andinappropriate touching.

I've been pressed to work long hours at the office, - and was criticized by him that my financial contribution should be more and more and more. Even during his long holidays he doesn't do anything at home or in the garden,leaving this burden to me.

He buys expensive sports/leisure etc accessories, and goes out for fun, leaving me either cleaning at home, or workin overtime.

BASICALLY I DON'T WANT ANYTHING FROM HIM, JUST MY DIGNITY THROUGH SEPARATION. I guess i'm tired of being considered the party spoiler, whereas i feel he's selfish leaving all the daily work on me.
He doesn't believe in marriage counselling, and when we try to talk he shouts and makes fun of me.
ShOULD I DIVORCE?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:01 AM on Oct. 22, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I'm confused. I thought you said it was confirmed this weekend that you would divorce, so are you having doubts? Imagine if your post was a letter from a dear friend asking *you* for advice. Does that friend sound happy? No. You're doing all the work and he's being irresponsible and abusive. You've made it clear, there's nothing in it for you. Would you pay for a brand new car and let someone else drive it? I bet not. So, why would you work hard for everything in your life and let someone else enjoy what you've worked for? There's no exception just because it's a relationship. Next time you face a similar circumstance, replace your complaints with objects to help you take a step back and analyze it rationally. You sound miserable, so just imagine the ~freedom~ you'll have once this sorry excuse for a husband is out of your life. Your new life awaits.. where you can actually enjoy what you've worked for.
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 12:17 AM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • I am also confused. Certainly you can diorce and you can decide how things are split and custody etc. You have stated you are both in midlife crisis. Don;'t you think it might be worth it to try and ride it out? If each of you would try to meat a little in the middle it would help but you must be talking,.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:25 AM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • I'm gonna say the same thing I told some other nitwit earlier...
    If he truly cared, he would do WHATEVER IT TAKES to keep the marriage together.
    Doesn't believe in counseling? It's not a religion, or the fucking tooth fairy, so what kind of lame excuse is that?
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:37 AM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • Contradictory story but sure. Divorce. Take his money too. No mention of kids... there's usually a reference to children.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 1:31 AM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • This is really tough. I am not married, though will be soon. I've been in relationships before where I felt more like a mom to a playful son rather than a girlfriend to a boyfriend. I wish I had advice for you...I just left my relationship when I saw it heading in the mom-son direction. It was easier for me to do that than you, though, because you have a marriage. I was just dating.
    alexteale

    Answer by alexteale at 1:02 PM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • "when we try to talk he shouts and makes fun of me. "

    There you are. He's dead to you. DIVORCE. TODAY.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:19 PM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • thts right party girl..
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 6:35 PM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • My best advise.. It worked for my marriage. Before you decide for sure on divorce. Try the 'love dare' google it. Get the book. And try it. See if it makes a difference. =) good luck, even if it does result in divorce.
    WhitneyMommyOf2

    Answer by WhitneyMommyOf2 at 5:23 AM on Oct. 24, 2012

  • I think your marriage can be saved. Get into counseling.
    Sarah961

    Answer by Sarah961 at 6:11 AM on Oct. 24, 2012

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