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If you and husband went out for an evening

and you had MIL watch your kid(s), would you expect her to have them to bed on time? Whenever I give her instructions about when to have the kid in bed or on how to do something (or not let him do something) she just blows me off, and when I ask dh to back me up he says, "do you really think she's going to listen to me?" ...Is having them to bed on time too much to ask?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Feb. 10, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (12)
  • If she consistently watches the kids, that's one thing - rules are rules.

    If it's a "once in a while" thing, then it's a special event and bedtime could be stretched for 1/2 hour or so.

    Answer by Wimsey at 11:02 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Absolutely NOT. Jeez they are with Grandma. Time for a gramma party. I trust my mil to have my kids best interests at heart. She will protect them with her life and watch out for their safety. But ruling the roost belongs to me not her and I would not put that pressure on her. Telling them to go to bed on time is not too much to ask, but how many rules and regs did you put on her? Time with gramma is supposed to be fun.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • if this is just a once in a while thing i think you could just relax abit. its a special thing when grandma watches them and staying up alittle later isnt going to hurt nothing.
    Now if shes watching them on a regular bases then yes she should be following the rules.
    But i hate to tell ya but grandmas and grandpas usually do there own thing and we as parents just have to sit by and remember that when we were kids our grandparents didnt listen to our parents either.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:06 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • She should do as you ask. But grandma's don't do mom things anymore. They like to spoil their grand children. You need to lighten up. If she is only watching the kids once in a while it should be OK for the kids to live it up. As long as the kids are safe. I don't think she would put the kids in a dangerous situation would she?


    Answer by louise2 at 11:08 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Maybe she just wants to spend more time with them, you would think she would go by what you are asking. No kids...quiet (you would think)

    I guess just be glad you have a babysitter to watch your kids, then by the time you get home the kids will be sort of sleepy all you have to do is tuck them in.  Don't worry about it. GL


    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 11:08 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • My dad's like that. Me and my husband went out for the first time in 4 1/2 years back in January. My dad watched the kids. We got home around 10pm (we went to dinner and a movie). He said he put them to bed at 8pm (an hour late) but they were still awake until 9pm but he was too tired to fight with them. But I had already figured that would happen.
    We live with my dad so he knows when bedtime is but he doesn't agree with what I have set (7pm on school nights) so he does whatever he wants. Then I'm left dealing with cranky, tired kids in the morning. But he rarely watches the kids (that was really the first time he was actually in charge for an extended time) so I just let it slide.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 11:09 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Depends. If my mother is watching my kids on a school night, or under circumstances where they would otherwise be at school or a daycare/sitter, then yes, she should make sure things continue as if they were at home with me. But on a weekend, whether b/c I want to go out or she just wants them to stay the night, it's not a big deal unless it's really out of control. If bedtime is normally 8, and she lets them stay up til 9, to me, that's not a big deal. Letting them stay up until midnight or 1, yes, big deal. Her view, and mine, is that grandparents are supposed to be fun, supposed to spoil you a bit, and supposed to let you get away with minor things mom and dad wouldn't let you get away with. As for you telling her how to do something, or not do something,well, she's raised your hubby, and you married him(a product of her parenting), so I think you have to trust that she can take care of your son without harm coming to him.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:13 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • you know when I hired a babysitter or had a free one I gave them general instructions but too me bedtime is a breakable one. I usually only had them Friday or Saturday night so hey if it's later than normal I just let the kiddos sleep in. But honestly their your kids. If you prefer them to be to bed on time let her know in a nice way.

    Answer by pagirl71 at 11:15 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • No, not really. We don't go out at night alone very much at all --- couple times a year --- and it's always my mom or BFF watching the kids. We feel lucky to have free babysitting & want to make it as easy on them as possible so they'll do it again LOL -- so I always tell them just to handle it however they want to --- if they want the kids in bed at 7, make 'em go. If they want to 'par-tay' til midnight --- go for it!

    Once, though, my mom let my boys (5, 6, & 10) stay up ALLLLLLL night --- literally, the sun was coming up --- and she stayed up WITH them knowing full well my husband & I would be gone all the next day and she might have to watch our youngest (2). Now THAT pissed me off.

    Answer by Laura1229 at 11:25 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • you wouldn't think so!! had the same trouble w/my ex mil and dh!!

    Answer by KarenLynny at 11:29 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

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