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3 Bumps

My son is 18 years old and I believe he is engaging in gay sex or trying to? What do I say to him?

My husband is an idiot, when i mentioned my suspicions he had a smirk on his face and turned his nose up. My husband is very annoying since he has been in remission from cancer for 4 years, now he is preparing to return to work and all he does is whatever makes him happy or takes him closer to his goals,not family goals. They dont get along very well. but I will always love my son and be supportive of him. My son is very moody,secretive and always in his room on his laptop. i mentioned this to my adult son and he said he didnt think he was gay, maybe just curious, he didnt know. i am just afraid he is meeting people online. he had this friend name jose he was to hang out with, very suspicious, but never hungout that I am aware of. he had a horrible high school 3 years and his senior year he transfered and he has a good group of friends. I am very afraid for him with the public and our family

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:19 AM on Oct. 22, 2012 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (13)
  • Youi say the same thing to him as youi would if he were having straight sex. You tell him to be sure to use condoms.

    It would also be a good idea to broach the subject of meeting "people" online. Please communicate with him. It is absolutely necessary - why would you want to stress yourself out worrying about things that might not be happening. Open up to him and talk rather than ask others what they think is going on. They don't know any more than you do.

    Answer by winterglow at 8:24 AM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • I would sit and ask my son if he is gay, tell him you will love him no matter who he is attracted to, I would counsel him to use codoms and make good choices, but he is an adult and he is free to make his own path in life.

    Answer by kimigogo at 8:24 AM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • Accept him, love him, tell him to use condoms, there is nothing wrong with him being gay, let him know that. Good luck.

    Answer by Heidikans at 8:32 AM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • You just have a safe sex talk with him, he's 18 so honestly whether he's having sex with a guy or girl it really isn't your business. I wouldn't pressure him about being gay either, he will tell you. Or you could say something like, " I seen the cutest gay couple today " see how he reactes.

    Answer by Mrs_Harsh at 8:33 AM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • I agree with what everyone above has said. Stress the use of condoms, let him know that meeting people online is dangerous and he should avoid it or at least meet with them in an open public setting. Above all, and saying that you would but this what my parents did to me, above all don't use terms like, "Are you punishing me?" or "Why are you doing this to me?" Or telling him its a phase that he will grow out of, it might very well be or he may actually discover that he is gay or bi. Always just be supported, accept him for who he is because he will always be your son and love him no matter what. If he is struggling with discovering his sexual identity then he needs the support of his family now more than anything. GoodLuck.

    Answer by AnonNdrag at 8:51 AM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • Nothing. Support him and assure him that you love him no matter who he loves. Why do you need to talk to him about his sex partners? The only thing I would suggest is being safe. Maybe go to costco or Sams and buy him a case of condoms. Put a bow on it and leave it outside of his door.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:15 AM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • Use protection and be safe.

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 10:49 AM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • So being on his laptop and having a friend automatically makes him gay?
    All you can do is love them and make sure he's safe. Just like you would any other sexually active teen.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:02 PM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • be straight up with him...

    Answer by smiley745 at 12:57 PM on Oct. 23, 2012

  • It may or may not be what your thinking. Usually if you sense something is wrong there is. I would let him know that you are available to talk if he has a problem of any kind. Maybe take him out to eat or something and maybe he'll open up and talk.

    Answer by Sarah961 at 2:59 AM on Oct. 24, 2012

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