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How to explain to a kid who thinks she knows everything?

the girl is 13 and thinks she knows everything about everything. she came over for a visit last night and we were watching tv. something about gays came on the tv. (i was in the kitchen so i don't know what it was.) she started going off about how gays should be banned and other stuff. again i wasstill out of the room.
now hubby had a sister who was gay (died in 2001) and i have an aunt who i just started talking to again. (i stopped talking to her after she kept butchering my hair every summer between the ages of 5 and 8)
how do i explain it has nothing to do with her the way other people want to live their lives?

 
noel1978

Asked by noel1978 at 11:46 AM on Oct. 22, 2012 in Teens (13-17)

Level 24 (20,339 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Just communication. It's not your job to "change" her, just to respond to what you hear with personal information. Such as, "Oh wow, I think something totally different." And share your perspective. Or just ask why (why banned?) And communicate with her. If you are respectful and caring (just normally so, how you would be with any friend), you can ask out of genuine curiosity (not challenge/debate) how or if it affects her & others. Just explore what's behind her statement. This gives HER the chance to explore what's behind it (or how there's nothing behind it) and that means she actually gets to engage what she thinks (or chances are, what she's simply repeating.)
    She's likely just spouting something she has heard, possibly what someone close to her believes & states.
    Rather than focusing on how to "explain" in a way that you hope will convince & change her, why not focus on communicating and relating?
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 12:18 PM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • Kick her out of your house and let her know how it feels to be excluded for something you can't help (being gay, or in her case, being a worthless, intolerant little asshole)
    FreeForAll

    Answer by FreeForAll at 11:50 AM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • Like everyone, "she'll live & learn". She is too old to learn compassion if she hasn't already been taught it. So she will have to go out into the big world with her swayed views & deal with the backlash eventually.

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 11:59 AM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • she's white and her mother is dating a black guy. i was thinking of telling her that blacks should only date blacks and whites should only date whites. you think that might help her understand?
    noel1978

    Comment by noel1978 (original poster) at 11:54 AM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • Yep. Tell her that was 'banned' just a few decades ago.

    FreeForAll

    Answer by FreeForAll at 11:55 AM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • my dad used to tell me before him and my mom got married, he would ask my aunt if she wanted to go to the bars with him to pick up chicks. this was back in the 70's
    noel1978

    Comment by noel1978 (original poster) at 12:00 PM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • I think your step daughter needs some counseling, if she isn't your step-kid, then you need to leave it alone and let her mother deal with it.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 12:04 PM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • she ain't mine, she's a neighbor kid that the girls play with from time to time. i didn't think of talking to her mother about it. that's a good idea. thanks kimi.
    noel1978

    Comment by noel1978 (original poster) at 12:08 PM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • I agree with what girlwithC said.
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 12:41 PM on Oct. 22, 2012

  • I would tell her that those aren't the views we hold in our house and that I would appreciate her keeping that to herself while she's in my home. She is probably just repeating what she hears at home and has been hearing for 13 years so it's doubtful that anything you say will change her mind overnight.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 1:45 PM on Oct. 22, 2012

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