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Ok, i really need advice. I have a new boyfriend (of 8 months). he is 5 yrs younger than me. he has full custody of his 6 yr old son. the kid is a terror! i am unable to love or bond with this kid at all. heck i cant even like him! he has behaviour issues at school and at home. they practically live with me so i have to witness everything. he minds me much better than his dad, but i dont feels its my place to step in and take control.

it is putting a strain on me and my feelings about a relationship with my BF. I love him, but i just look at the kid and feel repulsed. OMG, how horrible is it to feel that way over a child!?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Feb. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I would think twice before you make any kind of future plans with your BF because
    what you have now and what you see now with his son, most likely will not get any better.
    Unless you and your BF can work together as a team and make the home peaceful. If two people are not on the same page with discipline (bio child or not) there will be strong tension that can and will distroy the family life.

    Answer by Dannee at 11:34 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I don't think it is horrible of you to feel that way. However if that is the way you feel about his child I think it would be best to end the relationship. It is not fair to anyone for you to stay with this man. I think things will only get more difficult the older the child gets, and I should hope the father would choose his son if things should continue to progress. You don't want to waste all this time and energy on this relationship to have it go no where, do you? Just remember! You are not a bad person for feeling that way!

    Answer by hilary1122 at 11:35 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • No I totally get what you mean. I had a very good friend whose daughter was so horrible & such a terror that I was actually worried that eventually I might end up doing something to her. I by that I mean popping her, which is totally not my place. The mother left me alone with her once for like 5 minutes and in that 5 mins, the child was so horrible I lost it and yelled "Shut the hell up. You're acting ridiculous!" Right in the 4 yr. o9lds face. Now anyone that knows me knows that is not me AT ALL> Some children are just horrible enough to do that to you.
    If you want to pursue a relationship with this man, it's time for some serious talks. You need to lay it for him and him in return. Family counseling and relationship counseling might be in order here. This is not a way to live.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • try very hard to create a bond with his son. take him out alone for ice cream, maybe talk to him and tell him you want to be good friends ect... try to make it fun around the home too. maybe he just needs tome love or attention. some kids want attention, and will do bad things for it as well. just try to show you care.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • ***FROM ORIGINAL POSTER*** I know what everyone is saying. and deep down agree. i have had serious talks with my BF. and he wants things to be better and tries... he is just clueless as to what to do. he doesnt agree with me so much on spanking, and i agree, it is a last resort. this child is very large for his age - tall and overweight. at 6yrs he is over my shoulders and weighs at last weigh in a couple of months ago - 110 lbs.... i feel if i dont get in my bluff and MAKE him know i am serous he will feel that he can run over me- considering hes as big as i am! ive told my BF that if i didnt care i wouldnt try and make suggestions, etc. i would just let him handle it all. but i want a relationship, and i want his child to be a functioning member of society when he grows up. not a jail bird, because hes never learned to follow the rules.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 AM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • break it off, this sounds like a lifetime of heartache for you. run now

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 12:32 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

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