Need some advice from women either married or long term living together with your S.O.

I have moved around alot with my daughter. Since its just she and I, my work required me to reestablish myself quite alot. About a year and a half ago i moved to FL. I live on the west coast, and i met a man who lives on the east coast. He has asked my daughter and i to move in with him. He wants to move to the next level and get a house together. I'm super excited and then insanely worried about my daughter. I dont want to move her again. She's 8 now and has finally settled in and made new friends but i always feel like im tearing her away from things when she finally gets settled. What should i do? I've discussed it with him, we discuss everything, honestly he makes way more money at his job then i do at mine, its easier for me to move thru the company to that part of the state than it is for him to transfer to my side. My biggest concern is my daughter. I just dont know what to do and im afraid its going to cause me to cut things off before we get that far....Help? please?

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Asked by NotUrKidsBestie at 9:42 PM on Oct. 24, 2012 in Relationships

330 Level 9

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NOTE: He's a really good man. He's really good to my daughter and he loves her to death, he says she is resilliant and a social butterfly so the transition shouldnt be to hard because its moving us forward as a small family just starting off.Her bio father isnt envolved in her life he hasnt ever been envolved with her. So this is new to her but she adores this man like crazy. They spend all sorts of time together, and she just gushes over him. I know she loves him dearly, but i just dont know.. Maybe i just feel guilty for moving her so much. But i cant help it.

Comment by NotUrKidsBestie (original poster) at 9:46 PM on Oct. 24, 2012
Credits: 330 Level 9
What does your daughter think. Have you asked her? Thats what I gather you are asking here

Answer by flowersmama at 9:54 PM on Oct. 24, 2012
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If you move what are the chances of it happening again.? Is that the worry?

Answer by mto3821 at 9:58 PM on Oct. 24, 2012
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I've talked to her about it she's a little resistant to it. Were only moving an hour and a half away from where we are now. So i told her we'd be able to see her friends and come over to this side and visit. I think its just because she's moved around a bit. IDK. She wouldnt really talk about it alot just a little bit then she got quiet so now i feel like an ass. Honestly.

Comment by NotUrKidsBestie (original poster) at 9:58 PM on Oct. 24, 2012
Credits: 330 Level 9
I dont really like moving but who does and yes im worried about if it will happen again. I dont want to have to move her again if we do this move. Unless its local and i can keep her in the same school. Then by all means, lets move. Other then that? No way will i move again after this i've made that perfectly clear

Comment by NotUrKidsBestie (original poster) at 10:07 PM on Oct. 24, 2012
Credits: 330 Level 9
How long have you been together? Are you getting married?

Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:18 PM on Oct. 24, 2012
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we've been together for a year yes were planning to get married not right away but when im good and ready. He's ready, im still battling the lose of my father in december so thats tough. when im 28 and he's not around to walk me down the aisle, we were very close. He's very considerate of my feelings and he's helping me to work through it little by little.

Comment by NotUrKidsBestie (original poster) at 10:25 PM on Oct. 24, 2012
Credits: 330 Level 9
If you're planning to move forward with your lives I say go for it. You can't always wonder what if and if your daughter is really close with him as well it would be great. Also if you're only like an hr and a half away from where you're moving now it shouldn't be that bad. I know to a child it seems like 500 miles but just sit and think about to pros and cons of the move and figure out which one outweighs the other. Good luck and I wish you three the best :)

Answer by cmtj2011 at 11:41 PM on Oct. 24, 2012
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We've moved NUMEROUS times...my kids are now 19 and 16 and id did get harder as they got older...but they have dealt with it pretty well each time. They are sad at first- but it doesn't take long for them to make new friends and whatnot. *we did try to move during the summer though most of the time, so that they could start the new year with everyone else

Answer by charlotsomtimes at 11:42 PM on Oct. 24, 2012
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I wouldn't move until you *are* good and ready to be married.

My husband grew up moving from place to place to place; it's one of the reasons he refuses to move our son anywhere, even if it means he commutes two to three hours one way.

Answer by gdiamante at 12:47 AM on Oct. 25, 2012
Credits: 65222 Level 34 Relationships Degree

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