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Anyone in or have been in an abusive relationship?

Did he / she change? how? therapy? personaly growth? how did you get past resentment or anger?

 
maxsmom11807

Asked by maxsmom11807 at 11:53 PM on Oct. 24, 2012 in Relationships

Level 29 (40,703 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Yes. Several unfortunately. The first one took me by surprise - I had never encountered that behavior before, and thought that this was just a troubled person. My first mistake. Yes, abusers are troubled and they need help, but it is not your job to make sure that happens, it is your job to take care of YOU. At the time I was in a major depression, so that prolonged and complicated things, but one day I just hated how I felt so much I realized that nothing would change if I stayed - that my life would look AT LEAST as bad in two weeks, two months, two years, and I had had enough. The next wasn't much better (my personal history made me susceptible to this stuff). Because I tell the truth and follow through, I just expected someone who "loved" me to do the same. It doesn't happen that way. The only way a person changes is because they get sick of themselves not because someone else needs or wants them to.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 11:21 AM on Oct. 25, 2012

  • If you are in one get out now!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 AM on Oct. 25, 2012

  • No, he did not change I left after he grabbed me by the throat and was slamming my head into the floor. Not to mention, my 9 year old came out with a baseball bat to kill him. I knew I couldn't do that to my children anymore. We went into a safehouse for months. Lots of counseling and lots of job retraining. Assertiveness training and one on one therapy. I came back away from him, it never would have happened with him
    adnilm

    Answer by adnilm at 12:24 AM on Oct. 25, 2012

  • Yes, my older sons father abused me physically and emotionally when my son was a baby. I was sixteen when I had my son, and I found the strength to sneak away when he was at work one day, and never looked back. Its strange but just recently, about a year ago he came to me in a lengthy email telling me how sorry he is. How much he wishes he could take all the crap he did back. Yes it has been eighteen years, so I have been talking on the phone with him as friends. We would never in a million years be back together. So much time has passed, and I dont want to hold on to grudges. I will not forget what he did, but I can try and forgive. He has done a lot of therapy for depression, etc over the last few years. He had multiple deaths in his family, and I truly believe that woke him up.

    cynthiamarie79

    Answer by cynthiamarie79 at 12:53 AM on Oct. 25, 2012

  • @adnilm. I can def relate to you. I had to go to a shelter, and had to rebuild my life all over again.
    cynthiamarie79

    Answer by cynthiamarie79 at 12:53 AM on Oct. 25, 2012

  • nope
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 1:04 PM on Oct. 25, 2012

  • Definitely have been - sure I've said all about it on here before - if you're interested please contact me direct, but I warn you it's not a nice read!
    Stace x
    stace101

    Answer by stace101 at 1:36 PM on Oct. 25, 2012

  • Yes, I have. It i no life to live.
    Sarah961

    Answer by Sarah961 at 10:12 PM on Oct. 25, 2012