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3 Bumps

When I was 16, I had a baby with a high school fling.

I stepped up, got my GED, and became a Daycare Provider. My daughter was born in 2009, and her father has seen her maybe a hand full of times, has payed child support once, and has bought her one birthday present out of three. When my daughter was just over a year old, I met my finace. She instantly took to his side, and still is to this day. My daughters biological father, is in&out. He will see her for a month, dissapear for 3 months, then come running back, saying his daughter deserves to know him. For about the last year, when he asks to see her I have been saying no. Only because I know he wont be here for long. My fiance really wants to adopt my dauhter, but her biological father WILL NOT give up his rights! Does anyone know how we could go about him adopting her? We live in NY.
Her biological father also has a history of violence, a juvinile record, in and out of boys homes, and a police record.

Answer Question
 
Brittany21631

Asked by Brittany21631 at 2:07 PM on Oct. 25, 2012 in Parenting Debate

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • You're not stuck with this. What you need to do is start documenting everything. It may take a year or so but you can prove him an unfit father and get his rights terminated. Next time something happens you need to call the police. It's getting a paper trail that will work for you. Nothing he did before he was 18 can be used against you unless he was more then 2 years older then you. Then it's considered rape even if you consented. (At least in OH) You also need to get an attorney. If you can't afford one then talk to the courts and see if you can get one appointed. You may also need to go to CPS eventually if he would insist on visitation rights.

    If he has not paid child support you may also be able to have him put in jail for non payment but it sounds as if you need to be careful with him. He could be dangerous to you, finance or child.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 3:15 PM on Oct. 25, 2012

  • You don't need money to start documenting. You need dates, time, actions, etc. If he buys something or if he promises something and doesn't follow thru. This will all take time to start gathering. If you're talking about terminating someone's rights then you have to have a lot of amunition to do it and this will take a year or two at the least. If he's in jail for something you need to put it down.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 3:54 PM on Oct. 25, 2012

  • BUMOP! good luck! I hope everything works out!
    teeg1

    Answer by teeg1 at 2:09 PM on Oct. 25, 2012

  • As far as I know he has to abandon her give up his rights or be stripped of them because he is a danger to her
    flowersmama

    Answer by flowersmama at 2:14 PM on Oct. 25, 2012

  • I would suggest you talk to an attorney. Then you will have a firm foundation from which to work.
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 2:25 PM on Oct. 25, 2012

  • Well for starters, we have a police record from when her father came to my home intoxicated, demanding my finace to come outside. When he stepped out the door, her father and his friends jumped my fiance. My fiance did not press charges though. He felt that he was being the better person by acting like it never happened.
    Brittany21631

    Comment by Brittany21631 (original poster) at 2:13 PM on Oct. 25, 2012

  • anything happened before he was 18 isnt going to matter, sorry.
    Whats wrong with being in and out of boy homes?

    Its hard as hell for him to lose his rights. Sorry.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 2:13 PM on Oct. 25, 2012

  • Also when she is a teen or close to it she might beable to request adoption
    flowersmama

    Answer by flowersmama at 2:16 PM on Oct. 25, 2012

  • Whats wrong with him being in and out of boys homes? Whats wrong is the reasons he was put there. Grand larsony, starting fires, robbing a good will for crack money. He is just bad news. Everyone in my county knows it.
    Brittany21631

    Comment by Brittany21631 (original poster) at 2:16 PM on Oct. 25, 2012

  • I guess I made my bed of pins and thorns. Now I am stuck with it for 18 years, pretty much?
    Brittany21631

    Comment by Brittany21631 (original poster) at 2:18 PM on Oct. 25, 2012

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