Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Curious mind want to know

Have you REALLY tried to make things work with your husband, even when he shuts you and won’t let u in?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Feb. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • I did when I was married. I took my vows very seriously. I realized that it can not been done just by myself. He was not willing to try..months past..no trying..I went and got help and I realized that my dream of being married and having a family still exsisted but not with him. It was funny in a way because when I finally got over him he wanted to make it work, but it was too late.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 3:26 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I have - my husband has never really talked about problems and won't really listen either. He grew up and never had anyone to talk to so he won't say what is going on or how he thinks we ought to fix things. It is getting better though. We have only been married almost 4 years but we have been together six and he is just now getting to where he will listen when we have a problem. he still won't talk much about it but at least he does listen. All I can say is keep trying if you want it to work & eventually he will see and let you in.
    momwifelove

    Answer by momwifelove at 3:28 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • When my ex and I were still married, I did everything I could to make it work. I suggested counseling multiple times and was always shut down. When I realized I had slipped into a depression, I knew it was time to make some changes in my life, and he was the first change I made.

    I don't wish that on anyone, mind you, but take a serious look at your life. Are you happy more often than not?
    meghanlomaniac

    Answer by meghanlomaniac at 3:32 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • To be honest with you, sometimes i think i could have tried harder. I was so fed up, that eventually i just left. I did meet someone eventually who loves me for who i am though, my ex had too many expectations that i could not live up to. I was not happy, & grew out of love with him. The past is my past though, & i don't feel guilty about it i just take it all as a learning experience. But sometimes i think i did not try hard enough, like i just gave up. And i wonder what it would have been like had i tried harder, some tell me nothing would have changed & that i made the right decision, & some tell me we should have tried harder. but i guess i'll never really know.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • It is normal for a man to withdraw inside himself. It is called his man cave. I just try to keep lines of communication open until he feels like talking about the problem, if he ever does. We both love each other, so if he sees that I am worried, or when I bring up that I see he is upset/worried and if he'd like to talk I'd be there to listen, then he usually tells me at least something about what is bothering him. It is important to be an active listener in these cases. Pay close attention, restate what the problem is to make sure you understand, ("So you mean you are worried that we can't make the car payment? " ) , then ask what you can do to help. Don't expect him to let his feelings out, some guys do, some don't.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 4:07 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN