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My husbamd recently moved out and seeing another woman. We have agreed to counseling but I would really like to use this time to get to know myself again. What are some things I can do to stop thinking about him and become more independent?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Feb. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • What is the point of counseling if he is seeing another woman?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Your husband is seeing another woman? Tell him to fo and get you another man.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:35 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Baby - move on.

    He has.

    Good luck - find a house of worship, make friends at work, volunteer at a homeless shelter, teach kids to read - better yet teach adults to read, join up with your political party.....
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 3:36 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • You should have never been dependent on him anyway. As far as moving on that takes time. Didn't you have hobbies while the two of you were together? You are an individual, and a dependent woman is never attractive.
    Queentdi

    Answer by Queentdi at 3:38 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • First, be very very careful if you and your husband do decide to work things out. Stay in counseling! The both of you!

    What do you enjoy doing? What have you always wanted to learn to do? Crochet? Learn a language? Write? Travel? Take this time to do what you have always wanted. When I left my husband, I spent a lot of time with friends, just going out for coffee or to dinner or a movie. My way to work through things was to spend time with other people and talk. Everyone has a different way though, so find yours :-) You'll be ok, and I do hope things work out for you. Just remember, if you two do decide to stay together, stay in counseling!
    meghanlomaniac

    Answer by meghanlomaniac at 3:39 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Well, that's a little harsh.

    I am dependent on my DH and he on me as well.

    That's called a relationship.

    While I remain, at core, myself - I am dependent on him and trust him completely, and vice versa.
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 3:40 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • What did you always want to do or learn? Look at local library or coffeeshops etc for flyers about community classes and events that you might enjoy. Make new friends, develop your interests.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 3:49 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Exercise will help you burn off some of the feelings you may be having. A hobbly like painting where you can express yourself, and find a church to get involved with people, volunteer.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 3:55 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Good for you...instead of obsessing about him and his girlfriend..you'rer taking care of yourself. To stop thinking about my husband, I would start daydreaming about where and what I wanted to be or do. I imagined myself happy and the life i wanted to lead. Exercise and hanging out with a great group of single friends really helped too.
    babygirlsofmine

    Answer by babygirlsofmine at 9:34 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Counseling is a waste of time. You can't force someone to want to be with you. And since he already has a girlfriend I'd say he's moved on. So should you.

    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 8:20 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

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