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Money Differences

I have a friend who has recently gotten married and now has 2 incomes plus child support. I have only my income, no child support and I'm a single mom. I work very hard to provide for my daughter, but i have to make choices all the time like cook at home this week and take my daughter to the movies on the weekend. My friend doesn't seem to respect this and has pestered me a lot in the past and makes me feel horrible for not going with them to things because I don't want to spend the money. Does anyone else ever have problems being friends with someone because their income level is so different from yours?

Answer Question
 
ria7

Asked by ria7 at 3:49 PM on Feb. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Level 23 (15,224 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Why not just be honest? Say "I can't afford to go with you to XYZ, why don't we meet up at the park:/my house//your house instead?"

    If she's a real friend, she will understand. If she doesn't, she's not a real friend.


    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 3:57 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I'm 23 and still have quite a few friends who aren't married and still live at home. Living at home and not having any bills allows them to spend their money a lot more freely than I can since I have a mortgage and living expenses. Some of my friends love to shop all day long, go out to eat and to the movies. It's a boring day for me when I'm with them because I don't need to be spending my family's money on things I don't need. I tend to avoid those friends. I can't expect them to change their lifestyles just because it doesn't accommodate mine...but I can't go out and spend a fortune every week just to hang out with them. Friends need to meet in the middle and respect one another's limitations or the friendship won't work.

    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 3:59 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I have told her that I can't afford it, she just doesn't get it...she has never been good with money and is a bit of a user and manipulator...and I am a worrier and try to save and plan.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 4:06 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I have to admit it's hard. I'm so used to doing things all the time and not worrying about it. I have one friend who really can't afford to do the things we do. I always forget. And I don't want her to feel bad that I didn't invite her. But I can't win. If I don't ask I'm excluding her. If I do she gets upset because I know she can't afford it. So what do I do? I try to spend time with her. Even offer to pay for them to go to 6Flags and things with us. But I think she is too proud to accept because it's rare she will do anything if she can't pay.

    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 8:16 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

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