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1st grader w/out mom!

I didn't know how to title it but I guess that sums it up. My neices mom died last year, they was very close and would talk a lot. My uncle is now raising her and since he doesn't have a wife or gf I'm wondering should I be the one to talk to my neice about puberty and sex? I sure don't want her to get all the info from friends like myself. Mose of the women are in there later years in my family except me and my lil' sister. When should I start talking to her? How should I start my mom never talked to me. BTW she's already starting to get boobs should we go buy a training bra?

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Asked by MAyers at 4:14 PM on Feb. 10, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • First off..there are lots of great books that you can get to help you have that talk. need to clear it with her Dad before you discuss anything with her. I def think it is time if she is developing breasts.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 4:16 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • She doesn't have a dad. her real dad is in a psych ward and her step dad is mentally retarded.

    Answer by MAyers at 4:21 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Okay. Then the person who has custody and is raising her. Whoever is responsible for her. If you just talked to her w/o talking with them first they may be angry or hurt. They may be planning for someone else to do never know. I would ask.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 4:23 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Her guardian is the one who is responsible for her...and that person should be the one to speak to her about such things. Unless he comes to you and ASKS you to do is not your place.

    If she is already developing breasts (in 1st grade?!) then it is time for her guardian to do what he feels is necessary for her care. Again, if he comes to you and ASKS you to do it...otherwise it is not your place.

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 4:48 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I would talk to him. Tell him that as her aunt, you love her very much, and you would like to help with her, being a surrogate mom figure in her life. Ask if it's ok if you take her places and spend time with her.

    Then, once you establish a relationship with her, and establish that she can talk to you about things, then I would gradually build from there. Once the relationship is established, then I would mention to her father figure (regardless if his relationship, he's raising her, so that's what he is), that you noticed that she's developing, and would like to talk to her about it, so she's comfortable, You might consider telling him what you're going to say first, and or showing him any books you might want to use.

    There are good books out there on the subject that can help - American Girl has one that my friend used and liked.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 6:01 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I think that this is a great question to post on this forum. There is a lot of good feedback. I know your heart bleeds for your niece. Taking on the responsibility of having the "talk" with your niece is not your place. If you see signs that this is an issue and a female perspective might be of help, then talk to your uncle and let him determine if this is the right time to talk to her. IF he so chooses, he may involve you or someone trusted to talk to her. Perhaps you can have a discussion with your uncle and then start spending time with her as a female role model.

    Answer by snaprcat1 at 10:11 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I can understand what your saying, my fiance's little sister (she's 12 now) is getting to "that age" and her mother basically went off and started a whole new family and wants nothing to do with her daughter, or acts like it anyways. Until recently her dad had a gf with girls around her age, but they broke up, so she has just her dad now, and no sisters. I told her if she ever had any questions, to feel free and ask me and i would tell her honestly and i have. I worry about her finding out (the wrong) things from her friends, or worse boys. She's already started her period (dad's gf was there but didn't tell her anything about it besides "here's a pad") and wears bras. I think it's a good idea, of course, check with your uncle first and make sure he is okay with it, he will probably appreciate it.


    Answer by Aniyunwiya at 6:37 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

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