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What does this mean for my marriage?

I have been married for almost 4 years and I love my husband. He is my best friend and he treats me like a queen. Before we got married I was sexually intimate with only one man, and lately I can not stop thinking about him. What does this mean for my marriage?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:19 PM on Feb. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • ah, it just means your horny thinking about some strange. Its normal.


    Just don't act on it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • You love your husband and are treated very well by him. He is your best friend. It is possible that this other person is the forbidden fruit, it seems attractive because it is no longer an option. What it means for your marriage is that every time, e v e r y time you think of this person you say sharply to yourself I will not do this. You stop yourself from thinking of him. It's a bad habit that you must break. If he floats into your mind, you frown to yourself and say NO! And you give your husband extra love and concentrate on him and on your marriage. You swore that you would be loyal only to him, you are a strong person and you can beat this very bad temptation.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 5:25 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • i have to agree with the first answer. its totally normal. nothing to worry about.

    i sometimes think about the guy i had sex with before i got married.but that doesnt change anything about my marriage. i love my husband and there is a reason why im not with the other guy
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 5:27 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • it means you are wondering about all you may have missed. take it from me. i'm in exactly the same situation. i've only been with two men that way in my whole life. you do wonder what you are missing. but if you are happily married, its probably just a phase. and keep in mind that you had to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince and ask yourself do you want to waste all that lipstick on yet more frogs? and he's your ex, right? the guy you're thinking about? why is that? there had to be a reason you broke up.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 5:29 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I agree with the other ladies - this is a forbidden fruit, fantasy sort of thing. I would NOT act on it, and it does NOT mean that there's a problem with your marriage.

    However, if you want, and if you think your dh might be open to it, you could try something like telling him "honey, I think you're so wonderful, and being with you is amazing, and sex with you is mind blowing. It's because I'm so confident and happy with our marriage that I feel comfortable talking to you about this - what do you think about trying something new?" Then get a book on different sex poses (karma sutra, joy of sex, etc), and experiment with each other. Or - get a book yourself, find some that interest you, then suggest them...

    You might find that by introducing some new things like that might cause some of these thoughts to decrease.

    I wouldn't worry that there was a problem in the marriage though :-)
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 5:45 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • OOOHHH yes, a little fantasy can be fun. Just think, don't go there!

    Also, married sex is comfortable and fabulous, but can be SO routine, so. . . take the lead, have a little fun. You don't always have to do the same thing the same way, you just have to do it with the same guy. . . and in different positions it doesn't even feel like the same person. . .
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 6:14 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • It means your husband married a normal human being.

    Nothing more.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 7:15 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • It means that it is time to shake things up in the bedroom.

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 7:26 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • It doesn't mean your being unfaithful to your husband. It's only natural in due course of time that you wonder about your ex. I mean, your ex was a significant part of your life before you were married and now you're probably wondering how he is, is he married, with children and such. Try not to feel guilty about and continue to enjoy the marriage you have. Not all woman are so lucky to be treated like a queen. I'm married for 8 years and still think about what could, shoulda, woulda happen if this and that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • It could mean that you wonder what you are missing... Maybe it's time to turn up your sex life with your hubby up a notch!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:35 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

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