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3 Bumps

We are about to progress physically and I'm NERVOUS! adult content

I've been dating this guy for about two months now, we have known each other for three years and have been pretty good friends and we decided that we'd like to try dating. It's been three years since I've been in a serious relationship (since I divorced my husband) and I've only actually slept with my ex husband more than once, I've hooked up with two other guys out of emotional despair (not smart by the way) but only once with each so I'm actually pretty inexperienced in the sex department and I'm humiliated.

So, since we've been friends for a long time and we just started dating we had decided to take things slow so these first few months have been dinner, movie, cuddling, get togethers with friends, etc. We have obviously played around a little but we haven't had intercourse. We've been discussing sex a lot lately and it's kind of implied that sometime soon we are going to move into that and I'm so nervous! I'm ready, I mean...come on in a three year period I've had sex twice but I'm feeling all insecure and worried now. I've had two kids and my body isn't what it used to be. He says he loves my body but he hasn't seen me completely naked yet and I'm worried about that and that I'll have "performance anxiety" lol any advice ladies? I feel like a dang virgin over here. What can I do to calm my nerves about this?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:17 PM on Oct. 27, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • have a glass of wine before you do the deed

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:19 PM on Oct. 27, 2012

  • Don't do anything that you are not ready for or don't want to do. And just relax, men are pretty straight forward, if he says he likes your body, he likes it. You need not worry. Just have a good time and let yourself go. The more you are into it (not faking, men can tell) the more he will be in to it.

    Answer by theMOMmission at 6:23 PM on Oct. 27, 2012

  • I just went through this very thing. I know exactly how you feel. I was honest about my fears/anxieties but not too over the top. I joked about it a bit to take the edge off.

    In the end, it was more than fine. My SO, at least, was way more interested in me as a person than me as a sex symbol. I can't speak for all men, but the good ones seem to be way less worried about our bodies than we are.

    Also, be prepared to be sore for a day or two :/ I forgot I had those muscles.

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 6:27 PM on Oct. 27, 2012

  • Just jump in feet first! Be playful and just have fun. Men know what they want. He said he likes your body so he basically knows what he's getting. Once you get past the first time then it's Katie Bar the Door!!!!! Woo Hoo!

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:07 PM on Oct. 27, 2012

  • p.s. great sex is mostly mental anyway. One book I read said 80% is mental so just get his MENTAL revved up and I'm sure you can get through the fun 20% just fine.

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:08 PM on Oct. 27, 2012

  • This is brilliant advice^^

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 7:16 PM on Oct. 27, 2012

  • Liquor  works really well for this occasion.

    Sense you have known him for so long. Why don't  you just  tell him how you feel. He might understand.


    Answer by louise2 at 7:29 PM on Oct. 27, 2012

  • Again!
    You are going to be naked. You are going to make him suffer "La Petite Morte" aka an orgasm
    Why are you nervous? Nervous is very un-sexy
    He Wants You- you want him?
    Get nekkid and leave footprints on the ceiling
    Don't be humiliated- tell him what you like and listen to what he likes. You will (if this turns into a long term relationship) only ever have to pleasure one another- so strange monkey circus stuff may not even be required.

    And if all else fails remember the words of this wise man:

    Answer by feralxat at 7:30 PM on Oct. 27, 2012

  • feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 7:30 PM on Oct. 27, 2012

  • Everyone feels that way the first time, great body or not, we all wonder if we will rock our partners world! Lol! If you feel nervous don't do it..don't go any further than you are comfortable going..when it feels right, IT WILL FEEL RIGHT. & men have insecurities too, don't kid new boyfriends body is RIDICULOUS, he's a body builder and sexy as hell but has all kinds of hangups about his body, he picks it apart worse than I pick apart mine! I have flaws too and was all worried about him zoning in on each and every one of them but instead can't stop going on about how sexy I am! A good man will make you feel loved and beautiful :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:34 PM on Oct. 27, 2012

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