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Why and will it ever get better???

Well the last year with my boyfriend has been really rocky beyond rocky actully but I had our baby a few weeks ago and things have been somewhat better since then, but I posted and week or so ago that he gripes because I dont want to sleep with him but that he seems really turned off and unattracted to me and like he just doesnt want anything to do with me unless its the "all about him" sex, i never ever hear I love you though he says he does and i dont expect it daily but every once in awhile would be really nice and all I hear is snide remarks about my weight or whatever else he wants to pick on me about that day but still wonders y im not all over him all the time.. Anyway I went to the gas station in town yesterday and there was a really good looking guy and he came up to me pumping gas and just started a converstation and wanted my # and told me how pretty I was and he was SUPER good looking i almost couldnt belive it

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scaredmommy08

Asked by scaredmommy08 at 6:13 PM on Feb. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • CONT.... i would never ever think of giving him my # or acting on anything but I dont even know that last time my boyfriend gave me a compliment and some random guy did!! Im just wondering why he wont tell me he loves if he does, granted i do not want him to say it if he doesnt! But he always used to tell me he loved me and compliment me but never ever anymore! there is like no connection between us anymore we are like roomates who have sex once in awhile I just want that spark back and maybe some affection and for him to let me know he kinda cares about me once in awhile or i dont think its gonna last much longer!! He used to send me really sweet txts and nothing anymore he sent more of a txt to some ugly fat girl in one day then iv gotten in months and months!! they werent nice but he put more time into her than he is me!! im just tired of putting in all the effort and getting slapped in the face!!
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 6:24 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Why? Because he's not ready to be in a real relationship. Will it get better? No.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 6:25 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • why is he txting other girls? it won't get better. you're just the available peice of ass. sorry if that's too blunt but it is what it is. sorry.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 6:45 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Here's something I learned after getting married...if you're not married yet, always keep our options open. I don't advocate cheating but I learned that you don't have to commit to anyone, especially if you're not completely happy with him. A man who belittle's your weight and wants sex just for himself is selfish and insensitive. Sounds like he's ready to move on but can't even do it in a mature. Leave him before he leaves you. You don't want that kind of stress and drama in your life. You only have this one life to live so don't settle for less...go out there, be happy and confident and know that you want and deserve a man who makes you his queen...calls you beautiful when you look your worst.
    babygirlsofmine

    Answer by babygirlsofmine at 8:50 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • u need to ask him all of this and see if he is intentionally doing it if he is maybe its not worth saving sorry to say however he might not be and women are emotional right after having children so maybe its not as bad as you think sorry to be harsh but your making him sound like an ass and maybe you need to bring this to his attention instead of asking strangers or else nothing is ever going to change
    emtmommyamanda

    Answer by emtmommyamanda at 8:53 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I saw your other question and I gotta say, I really don't have any other advice. He is not respecting you. He isn't saying he loves you. I have to tell you, he doesn't sound like a good guy to keep around. You aren't married to him. I'd tell him what is on your mind, honestly and without yelling at each other. But sit down and have a long talk about how the way he treats you makes you feel. If even after the talk he doesn't try to make it any different, then you need to do what is best for you and your child. That may mean leaving. There is no reason for you to stay with a man who doesn't respect you and treat you well. It is tough to hear but it's true.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:55 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Do you really want to spend the rest of your life like this? It is time to make a new life for yourself without him. Make sure you have job training. Make sure you can live independently. The sooner you get out on your own, the sooner you can make a life for yourself and your child. Perhaps you'll find someone who appreciates you and who will be the one that you will know is the right one. Perhaps not, but regardless, you are in an unhappy situation, you don't want to spend the rest of your life being this unhappy.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:58 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • o you have other kids him or you that could be with your new baby? All that even when more than one child can be hard on a couple. HONOR your baby don't put yourself into a position to cheat and don't stand for him to put you down. Tell him counselling or out!! Mommy you are worthy of being treated well by and a partner and you are absolutely strong enough to be with out him. What do you want your baby to grow up seeing you as? A mom who gets treated like you want baby grown to be treated - well or to see fights.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Sounds like his spark has burnt out,you might not want to hear it but you asked for advice.if other guys are showing you signs of interest and he isnt then why bother with him? find someone who will.
    geenabelle

    Answer by geenabelle at 9:20 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Some men expect women to snap back after pregnancy and the reality is that doesnt happen to most women. He needs to get over himself which it sounds to me like he is very selfish (no offense) Relationships are about compramise. He probably does love you but is having a hard time showing that right now. I know with my ex after I had our daughter he was so focused on himself. "Why dont you pay attention to me?" attitude. Well, the answer is simple to women. Babies are helpless little things and need our undivided attention. Why men do not understand that I do not know. I wonder if he is going through the same emotions my ex was? I still think he needs to meet you in the middle regardless of how he feels. It is not HIS relationship it is BOTH of your relationship. He needs to stop putting you down. Calling you names and refering to your weight is just bringing you down more which is not SOLVING anything. Good luck, hon.
    LovinEveryDay

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 10:56 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

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