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Discipline and direction

My oldest daughter is 4. She has her own room with a dresser and clothes in, she has a limited amount of toys since I don't want her to stay up and play with her toys and she does have a tv with a dvd player in her room, She shares her room with her little sister but they have seperate beds. She loves to pull out all the clothes from both her dirty laundry and her dresser to try it on, for chritsmas she got a treasure box with alot of costumes especially with princess dresses so she could want to go play with those. We also took out the dresser so she wouldnt pull stuff out but she still pulls out all of her dirty clothes and everything else thats in there. She doesnt like to clean up which makes her go into time out alot and she still doesnt do it. I don't know what to do at this point shes old enough to clean her room but she doesnt. I don't know how to go about disciplining and direction. PLease help.!!!!

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Asked by babyangelromero at 6:20 PM on Feb. 10, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 17 (4,048 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Take a step back and address this issue about tidying the room. If you really take time to think you may discover it is YOUR need for her to tidy her room not hers. So you could say to her "I have a need for your room to be tidy" and ask her if she would help. If she truly feels like she has a choice then she may say no...and then sometimes may offer to help.

    If she does not meet YOUR need to clean the room, tidy it, leave it or come to a mutual agreement with your child that you both can be authetnically excited about.

    Your child will feel connected by love with you when you are straight with her, dont try to control her or teach her how to be. Cherish her choices and communicate yours.


    Answer by keyaziz at 6:33 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Simplest answer is: if she doesn't put her clothes away, take them away. Teach her about being responsible with her toys/clothes or she will not have them to play with. Also, make sure the TV is not a distraction - if it is, remove it until she can learn how to listen better. If cleaning her room is something you know she CAN do but just doesn't want to, then practice it with her. Pick a day and spend it cleaning the room over and over again - it's tough, but practicing HELPS. Also, it may be that once the room gets to a point of mess, she doesn't know where to begin. Put up pictures of where things go so she knows exactly what goes where and acts as a guideline for what the room SHOULD look like. However, keep in mind that for her, visual neatness just may not matter as much to her as it does to you - you may have to learn to live with a little mess. Find a middle ground you both can live with.

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 6:35 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • She's 4...shes not quite old enough to decide to clean her room on her own. Of course she'll decide not to.
    I have the same problem with my 3 y/o...Ive even taken the toys away for a week at a time...she doesnt care. What I do? Go in there and make them help me clean it (my 2 y/o and my 3y/o) ...they like that Im helping them and are proud when its all clean. Whether they like it or not...they wont get snack/go out to play/tv, etc, til its clean. I dont mean be a Nazi about it, and we only do this like once a week...but they need to learn young to start taking care of their things or they wont have nice things.

    Answer by K-e-r-i at 9:19 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I am the patient mom, I will stand there and tell her to pick it up, if she refuses then I make her stay in the room until she decides to pick up I also eliminate tv watching, playing, and free roaming until she decides to pick up. Mine will have fits, I just check on her every few minutes asks if she is ready. If it takes all day, then it takes all day... Im very stubborn, I have been known to win a lot lol

    Answer by TheFriskyKitty at 1:10 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

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