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5 Bumps

What's the best way to come back? (edited)

If you leave CM (by your own choice or CM's choice) and decide to return later, which is the best way to come in, knowing you'll be a newbie acct that knows their way around too well to be mistaken for a real newbie:

An "I'm back" post on day one letting people know your new acct is associated with your old acct

Ease into it slowly, get the feel of things to see what potential drama might be brewing that you don't want to step in unknowingly, then gradually let people know without making it seem like you want a huge fuss made about it

Skulking around, voting up your old answers, and/or those of a select few people you consider friends, barely participating, until you unlock anon and can unleash your vengeance, hoping nobody figures out it's you


Edited to add something that's come up in the discussion:

When deciding which route to take, is it better to do whatever initially sounds most comfortable for the individual coming back, or is it better to consider how the community as a whole is going to react to it?  Option 2, for example, may initially sound better to the individual, but she has no way to know if someone will start a passive-aggressive smear campaign if their nose is out of joint over not being informed immediately of their return.  Option 1 may seem no big deal, except it may unknowingly come in the middle of something serious (someone else suffering a loss, divorce, etc) and make the Hey I'm back come across more as an attention grab.

Answer Question

Asked by NotPanicking at 1:12 PM on Oct. 28, 2012 in About CafeMom

Level 51 (421,174 Credits)
Answers (25)
  • guess it depends on why you left and how you were before...

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 1:14 PM on Oct. 28, 2012

  • MMMMM....loaded question.

    When I switched it was because of an IRL stalker. So when I opened this account, I let people know who I was in PMs. They helped me with votes up and defended me when I was harassed for being a "newbie". I built my levels back up the old fashioned way...answered questions, asked questions, etc.

    I have the anon option now, but havent used it yet. I dont see the need. And I've given up on caring if my stalker figures out who I am. Sucks I lost my standings, and a few people still dont know who I am, but I like this screenname better anyways. LOL

    Answer by toughluck08 at 1:16 PM on Oct. 28, 2012

  • I say just come back, make an 'I'm back' statement and move on with life. Anything else results in drama, something of which we have had too much of lately.

    If someone is pissed that a member came back? Too effing bad. It's a public forum.

    Yeah, that's pretty much my take on it. No matter why they went away. Well, unless they were bounced by CM for violating TOS and start doing the same thing again. But really, I don't even care that much anymore.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 1:21 PM on Oct. 28, 2012

  • I can answer both sides of this question lol

    When I left the first time, it was due to RL stuff and I was moderately overwhelmed. So when I came back I simply used my old screen name with "II" after it. It was clear who I was and I just waded back in.

    When I left the second time, again due to RL stuff, I was in a way worse place. I hadn't really thought about coming back but a couple of people thought it would be nice. However, I was sort of hyper aware that I may look like an attention whore if I came back under my old screen name. I knew I had been wrong in leaving a second time without telling anyone and I was a bit ashamed of myself for doing so. I just felt like a new screen name would allow me to enjoy CM without upsetting the apple cart. I only told a couple of people who I was, initially.

    As we all know, it came out and there was a shit storm (for whatever reason).....(con't)

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 1:22 PM on Oct. 28, 2012

  • and a shit storm wasn't my intent at all. NOTHING was my intent, lol. I just wanted to hang out, show off my new SO and brag on my kids and grandkids.

    Regardless, in answer to your initial question (and I'm sorry I veered away) I guess the manner in which you come back is pretty much solely dependent on how you left, and how you feel about coming back.

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 1:24 PM on Oct. 28, 2012

  • if i was gone then back
    guaranteed, that it was a Cafemom poofing me
    and not me leaving on my own freewill

    and then i would come back announce my presence and have an avatar that spoke volumes
    (most likely get poofed again by admin) :)

    this one fits the season


    Answer by fiatpax at 1:26 PM on Oct. 28, 2012

  • (and I'm sorry I veered away)

    I don't think that was veering, the people who have done it have put more thought into the answer than those of us who haven't had a need to.

    Comment by NotPanicking (original poster) at 1:26 PM on Oct. 28, 2012

  • why would ANYONE..."vote up your old answers"
    that makes no sense at all

    Answer by fiatpax at 1:27 PM on Oct. 28, 2012

  • why would ANYONE..."vote up your old answers"

    If you were trying to sneak in without anyone noticing, it's one acct you're guaranteed will never notice their answers being voted up and wonder who the newbie is.

    Comment by NotPanicking (original poster) at 1:28 PM on Oct. 28, 2012

  • "why would ANYONE..."vote up your old answers""

    I remember a doctor friend of mine telling me once that it was a fool's errand to try and figure out nutty people because, unless you're nutty yourself, you ain't gonna ever get it. LOL

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 1:29 PM on Oct. 28, 2012

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