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I have a 12 yr old son-"Turning 13 in March"- He looks 15 yrs old -And girls are starting to notice him. He told me has has about 4 girls interested in him at school. And that he really likes one of them .We have told him he cannot have a girlfriend -and that he is too young.but I remember at 14 I had a boyfriend and went to 1st and 2nd base-Should we be so hard on him about this?

I have a question about boys dating girls and at what age? I would like your input

 
Goldenbrowny

Asked by Goldenbrowny at 6:58 PM on Feb. 10, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (10 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • If he were my son here is how I would tackle this issue... First of all I have to remember he is changing, he is growing its a compliment that he is handsome! But at the same time, because he is now growing, it also means it is now time to start preparing him how to be a responsible, honest, mature young man. In my house they have to earn privelages. While I would not worry too much about the girls at school and phone calls, I do require supervised social gathering until they are older. In my opinion, I think at 16 is the youngest I feel I have to start hoping for the best they have learned well and follow examples that I been teaching them about dating, sex, responsibility from age 12-15... Between this age range, really think of it as preparation, you do not want your son going from being a boy, to suddenly full dating young man... Like anything, you have to work your way so you can learn bits as you go....
    TheFriskyKitty

    Answer by TheFriskyKitty at 12:47 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • i dont see anything wrong with a jr high romance, but at the school i went to the only thing a boy and girl could do were hold hands, they couldnt even hug in front of teachers :p
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 7:07 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • My personal opinion is, Yes, you should be hard on him! I have a 16yr old brother who is not allowed to date.First reason,Young girls dress more provocative and are more aggressive these days. Second reason, is girls should not be the focus in school and most junior high/high school relationships do not last and they just cause heartache and regret. At least, that's what they caused me!
    babybecknell

    Answer by babybecknell at 7:09 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • My son also just turned 13 and looks older. I dont like it that my baby boy is growing up, but I also want him to experience life. As long as you are open and honest with him, and yes set some limits. Hell I wouldnt want him doing what I did at that age but I also know its a possibility. Also, yes they cause heartache, but its part of life. You cant shelter your children from hurt. You want to protect them, but they also need to know how to handle hard things that life throws their way. If they dont experience first love until they are grown, how will they handle it then?They wont have any coping skills. Now they have you to help them through it. They need to learn how to act in social situations, and that includes romance at this age. I was heartbroken many times and it only made me stronger. I couldnt imagine growing up not having junior high romances. Besides they last for like a month at the most, lol.
    jajumommy2000

    Answer by jajumommy2000 at 7:38 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • We let our younger daughters have boyfriends. They don't go out anywhere with these boys. Mostly just say they're boyfriend/girlfriend. Talk in school and once in a while on the phone. In fact, our 13 year old has had a boyfriend for about two weeks. They just now started actually talking to each other, lol! I think at this age it isn't to the physical part yet, unless you let your children go somewhere unsupervised. I think they're experimenting with the whole boy/girl thing. Learning how to communicate, not be so shy etc. Like I said, as long as they're supervised and not allowed to go on "dates", I think it's ok. I don't think any 12 or 13 year old is old enough to go on dates.
    Littlebit722

    Answer by Littlebit722 at 7:40 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Absolutely no dating until you are 16. I have a boy and a girl and they know they can go to the movies and mall for a group date and girl their female friends just that. My dauther is 18 and this worked out great. just start young. who wants to deal with that starting at 12 or 13? OUCH
    pepperannrocks

    Answer by pepperannrocks at 9:09 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • no he just needs to know to use a condom if he wants to go all the way ** when my son gets to that age me and his father are going to give him a bunch!
    HAUTMAMMA3908

    Answer by HAUTMAMMA3908 at 9:50 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • I was not "allowed" to have a boyfriend when I was fourteen, and I had one anyways. We passes notes in class, and since we couldn't go to each others' houses, we kissed at school, and let's just say some supervision would have kept us out of suspension at school. I think you can let him HAVE a girlfriend, but make sure that when they are together outside of school, that they are supervised. Also, get to know the girl without embarrassing the living hell out of him. Have her over for dinner and whatnot. The more comfortable you are with her, the more comfortable he'll be with you. And whatever you do, make sure that you tell him that it's not HIM that you don't trust, that it's her, and that that's only because you don't know her. He'll be more inclined for y'all to all spend time together then, and you'll feel much better.
    ktrog

    Answer by ktrog at 1:17 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • what's the problem with him having a girlfriend??? You can control it by supervising everything. The more you say NO...the more they go towards the NO. I mean what's the BIG deal here???? Let him live a little & keep a honest open relationship with you, that way he'll continue to come seek your advice. Otherwise he's gonna start sneeking around & doing stuff anyways. GOOD LUCK!
    Me2dznb

    Answer by Me2dznb at 9:40 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • Unless you are prepared to go to school with him every day, you cannot stop him from having a "girlfriend." Pick your battles. If they want to hang together outside of school, make sure it is supervised. Other than that just teach him how to be a gentleman.
    Crazy-Steph

    Answer by Crazy-Steph at 1:29 PM on Feb. 12, 2009