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Could some of you please read my question in the Relationship section "Why and will it ever get better???" and maybe give me some "helpfull" advice instead of just saying he doesnt love you and he isnt into you!! Thank you !!

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scaredmommy08

Asked by scaredmommy08 at 8:47 PM on Feb. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Please just reexplain it here. Some of us have been where you are now. More often mistreatment or treating by a partner continues sometimes escalating in bad ways. If he won't go to counselling after you've been yourself to better understand your situation, at the very least, the chances of a good change lasting forever isn't very high.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:54 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • omg..are you serious?..what kind of helpful advice do you want? I read your question and answers...From what you wrote, he sounds just like he isn't into you anymore. Do you want to make this rocky relationship work? I wish you the best of luck but i think you're setting yourself up for heartache. You can try to be the best girlfriend, put 100% into it to make him happy. but in the end, if he is as you say he is...then no, it will not get any better. What kind of advise would you give your best friend, if she was you your situation?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Ok I will fess up. When my DH of 15 years were dating, after the first year he became distant and was a little mean. I broke up with him and guys went up to him and told him they were going to ask me out. He said "oh hell no" and he came back and we have not had a problem one. This wasn't something I planned, it was something that guys were doing on their own. Of course I turned two of them down but the third I said yes. After that first and only date with asker number three my DH was waiting on my front porch with flowers. We made up and a couple years later we were married. And here we are now. Happy and lust after eachother all the time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • There is no advice to give. You are obviously in denial about how bad your relationship is. Maybe you should read your own question and imagine it was your friend and figure out what you would say to her...I doubt you would have any miracles up your sleeve...people change, relationships end...it sucks but what's worse is hanging in there when there is so obviously nothing left. You're just wasting your time and you'll regret doing that. Life is too short!! Make the most of it!
    stepmom929

    Answer by stepmom929 at 10:12 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Ok, advice given. It's long, but so is the question :D

    remember you are a beautiful girl, and many other men would want you! Good luck, if you want to talk let me know!
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 11:26 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • ok, first of all, i read everything else, and i'm so sorry about some of the things other people said, sometimes things can be kinda rude on this thing... and you didn't deserve it. anyways, i know how you feel, the situation was very similar with us, i had our baby 6mo ago and i have to admit now things are doing really well. but at first it was really hard.. i couldln't get past things and he just wasn't attracted to me, and i was only like 135lbs after the baby, and he would swear it wasn't physical... but we just didn't have much of a sex life and he just woldn't compliment me, so i know exactly how you feel. but i can say that things will get better.. after things settle in a bit, you'll start feeling more sexy, he'll start looking past the whole birth mother thing and see you more as his lover.. i think that men have a hard time at first because with us becoming mothers, they see their own mothers characteristics a bit..
    sweetmama8

    Answer by sweetmama8 at 12:38 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • CONT. and its hard for them to realize that you've changed.. you both have to adjust to your new lifestyle and realize that things will never be like they were, but you both need to figure out ways to grow together and enjoy things together.. and that you still need to know that your beautiful because your covered in baby poop all day.. just tell him how you feel and let him know that your still attracted to him, you just don't wanna do 'dirty' sex stuff because he's not making you feel very pretty and feminine. tell him that if he were to let you know he's still attracted to you and that your sexy, it would get you in the mood more, in turn meaning he will get more...lol.. its a win win... anyways, sorry this was so long, if you wanna talk some more, message me!! i'm sorry you have to deal with this, but good luck... and you are gorgeous!! :)
    sweetmama8

    Answer by sweetmama8 at 12:42 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • I read your question some people just say it how they see it with out considering your feelings. You just had a baby, your tierd your body is going through changes. Try to make some special time alone with him maybe he is jealous of the baby getting all of your attention.  I still think he my feel rejected so he is acting mean towards you.  Maybe if he was kinder and made you feel good about yourself you would want to have sex.

    mommiedear

    Answer by mommiedear at 12:50 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

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